The videotape of Ray Rice attacking his then-girlfriend and now-wife on an elevator earlier this year has surfaced some disturbing facts about domestic violence. Among them:

  • Typically a woman suffers through seven incidents of domestic abuse before she starts thinking about leaving her abuser.
  • Because domestic abuse is about power and control, the most dangerous time for victims is when they make the decision to get out of the relationship. When the abuser feels the power equation changing, he may escalate his violence as a way to regain his power.
  • In Georgia, children witness nearly one in five domestic violence deaths.
  • In 2013, more than 4,000 women and children were turned away from shelters because there was no room for them.
  • Women may place a higher value on the relationship than on their own safety, hoping, often in vain, that if they can preserve the relationship, the violence will end.

So in the case of Janay Rice, why does she stay with a man -- indeed, why would she marry the man -- who knocked her unconscious in an elevator?

Domestic violence experts say that's the wrong question.

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