ABOUT THE COLUMNIST
Gracie Bonds Staples is an award-winning journalist who has been writing for daily newspapers since 1979, when she graduated from the University of Southern Mississippi. She joined The Atlanta Journal-Constitution in 2000 after stints at the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, the Sacramento Bee, Raleigh Times and two Mississippi dailies. Staples was recently promoted to Senior Features Enterprise Writer. Look for her columns Thursdays and Saturdays in Living and alternating Sundays in Metro.
For the longest time, the thought of ever being joined together in holy matrimony eluded Frank Loulan and Richard Pearce-Moses.
Then six years ago, after a "relationship blessing" in February 2001 and a civil union later that same year, the Jonesboro couple were married in a double-ring ceremony in Vermont, which legalized gay marriage in 2009.
It was one of the happiest days of their lives but even then only a few states recognized their union as legal. In record time that number ballooned to 37. Still, 13 states including Georgia banned gay unions and refused to recognize marriages performed in other states.
Not anymore. In a 5-4 decision today, the U.S. Supreme Court cleared the way for same-sex marriages in all 50 states.
“We’re thrilled,” Loulan, 63, said. “Absolutely thrilled.”
The ruling forces Georgia to legally recognize the couple’s marriage with the same rights and privileges as it does my nearly 30-year union to my husband. They will no longer have to create “dummy” federal tax returns to calculate their Georgia income tax; Pearce-Moses will be entitled to spousal retirement benefits from Loulan’s former employer; and in the event one of them gets sick, a hospital cannot refuse visitation rights because they are not considered family.
That’s huge.
“When I came out 30 years ago, I would never have believed this would happen in my lifetime,” said Pearce-Moses, 60.
Despite the court’s ruling, same-sex marriage still won’t sit well with a lot of people.
I understand that. Our opinions differ widely on issues related to homosexuality, abortion and women's rights. The Southern Baptist Convention has declared spiritual war on gays and Tennessee pastor Robert Gallaty has called for them to be put to death.
But if we are going to cast our votes, as many of us often do, with faith, Scripture and the Constitution in mind, it’s worth noting that Jesus proclaimed a gospel of inclusion, compassion, forgiveness and mercy, and laws are in place to protect the rights and religious freedom of all.
Still, just because all states must now allow same-sex couples to marry, gay couples may be hesitant to tie the knot in Georgia because the state’s anti-discrimination laws do not protect sexual orientation. That means that if a same-sex couple gets married, they could lose their apartment and possibly their jobs without legal recourse.
Several of the state’s major corporations have adopted non-discrimination clauses that protect homosexuals, including United Parcel Service, Home Depot and Delta Airlines. But Atlanta is the only municipality that prohibits sexual orientation discrimination in employment in both the public and private sectors.
The high court has confirmed what has become the national consensus on gay marriage. But that doesn’t mollify those who believe their religious beliefs have been undermined, especially those who fear the court’s decision might force pastors to perform same-sex marriages.
Bishop William Sheals, pastor of Hopewell Missionary Baptist Church in Norcross, believes the court’s ruling is the first step in that direction.
“I see no end in sight as we are being desensitized every day in the media to things that were unacceptable just 10 years ago,” Sheals said. “If this is going to be the law of the land, what’s next? We’re on a very slippery slope.”
But according to Douglas NeJaime, faculty director of the Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law, which researches sexual orientation in law and policy, that fear is unfounded. The Constitution protects a church's right to choose who it will and won't marry.
“Catholics don’t have to marry divorced people,” NeJaime said. “Jews don’t have to marry non-Jews, and we don’t tell churches who they can or cannot marry.”
The fact is, we can count on continued resistance, especially here at home and other places where religious liberty bills that essentially endorse discrimination are being considered.
But regardless of ongoing debates, the legal tides have turned. And that's good news, according to Jeff Graham, executive director of Georgia Equality, a non-profit organization that promotes equal rights for the LGBT community. For years opponents have said same-sex marriage harms families, but he says that's just not true.
“All we have seen are loving couples surrounded by their friends and families celebrating the true value of marriage, namely two people who love each other and are willing to commit to protecting and caring for each other,” Graham said.
Loulan and Pearce-Moses have been in a committed relationship for 24 years. They respect how difficult it is for some people, including some of their own relatives, to accept their love for one another.
“After a lot of struggling, I came to realize that this is how God made me, that it’s not a choice,” said Loulan, a member of Christ Our Hope Lutheran Church in Riverdale. “I could either be happy living my life to the best of my ability or I could continue to be miserable.”
Loulan said he chose to be happy.
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