Georgia native @KelliAmirah’s epic tweets chronicled the roller coaster ride of a burgeoning relationship with her Uber driver and served as a cautionary tale.
In 38 tweets, we learn that Kelli, a student at Howard University in Washington, D.C., is attracted to her Saturday night Uber driver. She leaves her phone in the car so she has a reason to call him. When he finally responds and meets her for the exchange, she asks him on a date. He tells her to send him a text. She does. He replies and eventually tells her that he is married. Kelli is left wondering why he waited so long to share that very basic information.
Dawn Maslar aka The Love Biologist, has the answer.
In her book, “ Men Chase, Women Choose ,” (HCI, $16) Maslar shares the science behind love relationships including why it is best to let a man make the first move.
“A man has a biological impetus to spread his seed. There was that split second where (the driver) is like well, maybe, but he had a crisis of conscience and he texted her back. It could have gone the other way. He could have waited until after they hooked up to say he was married and she would have been hurt,” Maslar said.
Kelli was lucky, but for those who may not have fared as well at the start of a relationship, Maslar’s book offers some insight.
Why should women not call a man? Why do the three date or 90 day rules of sex exist? Why is love at first sight, generally non-existent?
Turns out, there is a scientific answer for all of these questions.
Maslar said there are four phases of love, each of which impacts the male and female brain in different ways. Understanding the dynamics of each phase can make the whole love thing a little bit easier, she said. But not going through the phases of love can short-circuit a relationship.
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