When I was in college I worked for a long stretch as a waitress, and I can attest that there is nothing as discouraging as a meager tip and nothing as uplifting as a generous one. Now, I have to admit, I was a pretty lousy waitress, but I sure tried my best, and some patrons were willing to forgive my blunders and tip me for my effort.
I was the kind of waitress who sometimes got so frazzled I’d give a hamburger platter to the guy who had ordered steak, and lasagne to the lady awaiting a bowl of pasta. Thank the Lord I eventually realized waitressing demanded talents and abilities I sorely lacked, and I found other ways to work my way through school.
Still, the memories of waitressing changed me forever, which is why I nearly always leave a hefty tip when I dine out. I recall nights when the cook was shouting at the top of his lungs, the floor was slippery with grease — and the servers were desperately scrambling to make salads without tripping over one another. On one memorable occasion I accidentally picked up a sizzling plate with my bare hands and burned myself so severely that I nearly passed out.
Years later I made a connection between the Christian precept “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” and the practice of tipping. Let’s face it, that particular commandment can sometimes be a real bear.
Oh, sure, if the neighbor happens to be your favorite aunt, then asking, “What would make her happy?” seems like second nature.
But when the neighbor is a stranger, figuring out how to show them compassion can be far more challenging. Take a waiter in a crowded cafe or a cab driver navigating the roads during rush hour. Yes, you can smile pleasantly as they deliver your meal or drive you to the airport, but there is something more concrete at stake when you’re interacting with people who basically live on tips.
Some people protest they can’t afford to tip, but my husband and I figure that if our budget allows us to occasionally dine out or take a cab, we shouldn’t scrimp on the gratuity. And let me assure you we are far from wealthy.
On a recent trip to Falls Church, Va., we were delighted to meet cabbies from Ethiopia, Ghana and Guinea, servers from Japan and Italy, and hotel staff from Somalia. We learned a bit about their countries just by asking a few questions, which was a great way to transform these folks from strangers into real people with interesting histories. And it was heartening to see their big smiles when they received a nice-sized tip.
Every person we encounter qualifies as our neighbor, according to the Gospels. Everyone is made in the image and likeness of God. As C.S. Lewis reminds us, “Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses.”
Some people work tirelessly at jobs I would hate — and I’ll put cleaning bathrooms at a busy airport at the top of the list. How easy it is, though, to walk up to the lady scrubbing the toilets, say thank you, and hand her a tip.
A few dollars won’t make an earth-shattering difference in her life, but a small act of kindness can have a ripple effect on the world. It also can be a way to acknowledge the endless worth and deepest sanctity of each person we meet.
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