Not exactly loafing
Preparing to discuss the latest bread from Pepperidge Farm — a strawberry-flavored “limited edition” of its Swirl breakfast bread — Mr. Tidbit stopped at Pepperidge Farm’s website to see whether there were other new offerings to mention.
What he found really shouldn’t have surprised him, because it’s what he often finds. But surprise him it did. The strawberry Swirl bread wasn’t there (maybe because it is a “limited edition”), but guess how many kinds of breads, rolls and similar products (muffins, bagels) Pepperidge Farm sells.
No, go on. Guess!
To keep you from cheating by scanning for numerals, Mr. Tidbit will spell out the answer in letters, backward! thgie-ythgiE. He won’t attempt to define each of the categories, but he believes that, no matter how it might seem, there are no overlaps. There are nine Farmhouse breads, three Deli Flats, nine whole-grain, four Light Style, two Very Thin, three Variety, two white, two Italian, 15 sandwich buns, five Bake at Home, one dinner roll, six rye and pumpernickel, two Hearth Baked Style, two Party, four frozen, four Swirl (not counting strawberry), two English muffins and eight bagels.
Let’s all say it together: Is this a great country, or what?
Moving on to the strawberry flavored Swirl bread: The back label offers this description: “Ah, the aroma of sweet strawberries baked into our wholesome bread.” Wait. The aroma of strawberries is what’s baked in, not strawberries?
Indeed. On the front, under the large word “Strawberry,” we read “Flavored with other Natural Flavors,” and from the ingredients list we find that, among the things that constitute 2 percent or less of the bread, there are, in decreasing order, cranberries, natural flavors, dehydrated strawberries and elderberry juice concentrate.
Not only aren’t there a whole lot of strawberries, those strawberries are mostly cranberries.
Elderberry fields forever
This discovery caused Mr. Tidbit to check out new limited-edition Pepperidge Farm Strawberry Cheesecake cookies. On close examination, they turn out to be strawberry flavored cheesecake cookies, described on the back label as “soft, cakey cookies made with real cream cheese and strawberry flavored pieces.” The only fruit ingredients are cranberries and elderberry juice concentrate (and natural flavors). No strawberries at all.
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