Death has a way of haunting us long after it’s done its damage, ripped our hearts out and left us struggling to move on and make sense of the loss.
Matt and Maggie Bailey of Atlanta know that now.
Not a day goes by that they don't remember Matt's sister Jackie Kulzer, her fiance Chris Byrd, Chris' brother Phillip and father Greg. The four of them were headed to Ole Miss, a trip they'd made at least a dozen times over the years. This time it was to to see Chris' youngest brother graduate. Shortly after takeoff from the Peachtree-DeKalb Airport in May, their plane crashed into I-285 near Peachtree Industrial Boulevard. None of them, including Jackie's golden doodle Hollis, survived.
“It’s still unimaginable,” Maggie said recently.
You would not want these memories. If you’ve ever lost a loved one, imagine losing four at once on your mother’s birthday as Matt Bailey did and you’ll understand, perhaps, what I’m talking about.
Jackie and Chris, who met and fell in love during their junior year at Ole Miss, had planned to marry next Saturday. They were godparents to the Baileys’ 10-month-old twins, Madison and Carter. They were more than family. They were true friends, who lived in the moment and never allowed life to get in the way of being present in the lives of those they loved.
As familiar waves of grief washed over her one day in July, Maggie decided she wanted to do something that would both honor Jackie and Chris and leave a lasting legacy for the young couple.
Tragedy has a way of nudging us forward. Some people respond. Some don't. Maggie decided the only way to take back some of what they'd lost was to raise money for a scholarship at Chris and Jackie's beloved alma mater.
But she couldn’t just ask for money. She wanted to do something more, because that’s what Chris and Jackie, both avid community volunteers, would’ve done.
Next February, Maggie will run the Rock 'n' Roll New Orleans Marathon and 1/2 Marathon to raise money and awareness for the scholarship fund. Contributors can go to Ignite Ole Miss to make a donation.
At their home early Tuesday, Matt and Maggie talked about what they hope to accomplish, sometimes finishing each other sentences like an old married couple.
They hope to raise $25,000 to create a scholarship endowment in memory of Jackie and Chris.
“They loved Ole Miss and were extremely proud to be a part of such a close-knit community,”Maggie said. “I know they would want others to have an opportunity to experience what they did.”
“They believed education was important so we saw this as a good way to honor them both and keep their memory alive at the university they both loved and where they fell in love,” Matt said.
Working toward those goals has already helped them work through some of their grief.
“People ask, ‘Why are you running a marathon?’” Maggie said. “Doing something that will give back means so much more than just asking for money.”
And so five days a week Maggie prepares. One day she runs and another day she cross trains or does strengthening exercises.
No matter the weather, she pushes forward, remembering the why and the who behind every single muscle ache, every tear.
“Chris and Jackie had so much passion for life,” Maggie said. “You could feel the energy and they wanted everyone to be as happy as they were. They were really just a powerful couple.”
And they were present in the lives of everyone they met.
They would’ve celebrated their 28th birthdays in September and you can bet your last dollar they would’ve been over this Sunday to visit the twins, as they did every Sunday before they died.
Even when other obligations took him out of town, that was a date Chris never missed. He simply found another day to visit Carter and Madison.
Then one day, just like that, Chris and Jackie were gone. Officials said the plane never even rose above the trees in Chamblee before hitting the hot pavement that morning.
The cause of the crash is still under investigation by the National Transportation Safety Board.
There is a lesson to learn from this, Matt Bailey said.
“You never imagine something like this happening to you, but it could’ve happened to anybody’s family,” he said. “You have to live life to the fullest and take every opportunity to spend time with those you love because the day will come when you want to call them and you can’t.”
