Kenya Moore’s hosting gig for the first pandemic “Real Housewives of Atlanta” trip to an Isle of Palms, S.C., beach house has been problematic so far.
- Kenya decides to fly a private jet while having the ladies take a bus. “It was torture,” Porsha Williams complains.
- Kenya doesn’t tell the other women she is bringing her young daughter Brooklyn and her nanny while everyone else with kids had to leave their kids behind.
- Kenya assigns the rooms and deliberately gives Marlo Hampton the worst one.
- Kenya gets a crab cake sandwich delivered for herself for lunch on day two while the other women are complaining of hunger. She then eats it in front of them with a grin on her face. Tanya Sa: “I am revoking your host badge!” Porsha: “She’s acting like we don’t exist!” Kandi Burruss: “You’re just disrespectful.”
Kenya, of course, has an explanation for each.
She decides to pamper herself with a jet and bring along her daughter Brooklyn because she has nobody she can trust to watch her (while bringing along a nanny, too).
Porsha feels like the bus trip was “the highway to hell” because it took eight hours, instead of the anticipated four or five. And she is annoyed that she couldn’t bring her own daughter on the trip as an option. Kandi explains to Porsha that Kenya’s parenting options are super limited. “I’ve been a single mom before,” Kandi said. “It takes more than money. It takes a village. She doesn’t have a village.”
Kenya says Marlo deserves a bad room. Her new BFF LaToya Ali told her Marlo had warned her that Kenya was trouble. “When you insult the host, that’s the room you get,” Kenya says. It doesn’t help that Marlo and Kenya have had their share of conflicts over the years that have never been fully resolved.
As for her lunch-time crab cake sandwich, Kenya says she had hired Rodney Scott, a James Beard winner, to roast an entire pig. (Problem: that pig was for dinner, not lunch.) Plus, she said she had a fridge full of food including sandwich meat. If the women wanted their own crab cakes, they should have ordered them themselves, she said.
***
Kenya, ever the entertainer, did hire a company to do a surprise murder mystery on night one.
What we see of the “murder” is hokey, to say the least. The “death” of some random woman is very local community theater and the two actors playing goofy “federal agents” are not quite ready for prime time.
As Drew Sidora observes: “This is the most ghetto murder mystery I have ever seen in my life.”
It doesn’t help that most of the women are more in the mood to drink than think. While Kenya, Kandi and Tanya appear to be trying to “solve” the murder, the other women are twerking and goofing around with the actors. Someone knocks over a lamp.
“It’s embarrassing,” Kenya concludes. “They are like rabid hyenas!”
Eventually, Kenya — who already knows the culprit in advance — points out the fake photographer as the “murderer” and the entire game comes to a merciful end.
***
Later, as they are shown their assigned bedrooms, tensions between Drew Sidora and LaToya Ali — the two newbies — hit a boiling point.
When they had first met earlier in the season, Drew questioned LaToya for dating while separated. LaToya insulted Drew’s wig behind her back, but of course her insults got back to Drew. So when Drew hears LaToya ask about another woman bringing her husband, Drew cattily says LaToya “doesn’t care about husbands.” LaToya comes up to Drew and grabs her wrist aggressively and starts insulting Drew’s husband.
Drew gets triggered by the physicality. “Don’t [expletive] touch me, I’m from Chicago, [expletive!],” she says to LaToya. But she shows self control and walks away.
Marlo schools LaToya: “You don’t touch nobody. That’s cold!”
LaToya says she didn’t realize she had touched her. Kenya coaxes her to apologize and LaToya does, but she appears to be super inebriated.
Afterwards, the women split into two rooms. The “aunties” are in the kitchen: Kandi, Kenya, Cynthia Bailey. Porsha says they frown upon everything, calling them “judgy” and “prude.” The “nieces,” she says, are vibrant and fun. To her, it’s an attitude thing not an age thing.
Kandi (who is 44) is a bit insulted by this terminology, especially since it was minted by Shamea Morton, her 38-year-old friend who pops up on the show every once in awhile going back to season five.
On day two, LaToya shows the ladies a custom wig she planned to bestow on Drew. “This is coming from a good place,” LaToya says disingenuously. “I wanted to give her something special.”
Drew, of course, never asked for a new wig.
Cynthia deems this a “whole new level of shade.”
LaToya during dinner apologizes for not telling Drew to her face how horrible her wig was the first time they met. As an amends, she offers the wig to Drew, who looks confused and perturbed. And the Bravo cameras, of course, hone in on Kandi’s bug-eyed expression because that is a signature move on the show. (They go to Kandi, not once, but four times in about 20 seconds.)
Credit: Bravo
Credit: Bravo
“I appreciate how closely you watch me,” Drew says saltily in response. “It’s sweet. But I get my wigs from the top stylists. No offense but yah, probably won’t wear it.”
Since Drew knows LaToya was a fan of her character on the show “The Game” more than a decade ago, Drew decides to give her frenemy a return gift: an autographed 8X10 of Drew.
Kandi is impressed by Drew’s humorous response: “Touché Drew!”
The episode ends with Marlo telling Kenya how hurt she is that Kenya gave her such a lousy room.
Kenya rolls her eyes, then says Marlo claims to be a friend, then attacks her. Bravo shows a couple of examples, including a claim that Kenya has had injections in her butt.
Kenya: “You trash me every chance you get!”
“Why don’t you own it?” says Marlo, who then leaves the kitchen in a huff.
THE TRAILER FOR NEXT WEEK
The ladies try to exercise. Kenya disappears with her daughter and Kandi gets upset. Kenya tells the ladies that if they believe in “sisterhood,” they need to support her struggles as a single mom. Cynthia gets a “dungeon”-quality bachelorette party, courtesy of Kandi.
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