Review: 'Little Fockers'

But they needed a gimmick to trot back out the same tired relationships and the see-'em-coming-from-a-mile-away jokes.

"I got it," one brain says. "Kids!"

Another slams his Blackberry to the table; pulls his sunglasses to the edge of his nose; his eyes widen. "Twins!"

Brilliant.

The third installment of the family friendly (families like jokes about needle injections in the penis, right?) comedy feels like it was conceived in 30 minutes, written over a weekend and shot in two weeks. Just another excuse to get the gang back together. Kind of like a bank robbery.

The problem with the flimsy kids conceit, however, is that the two 5-year-olds take a backseat to the ongoing drama between Gaylord "Greg" Focker (Ben Stiller, whose workout obsession has left him looking like Skeletor) and his toothless yet still terrifying father-in-law Jack Byrnes (De Niro). Maybe they just couldn't figure another way to get the word "Fockers" into the title without introducing the kids. Because, after all, the Focker word play is still responsible for about half of the jokes here.

Having put the trauma of the early part of their courtship behind them, Greg and wife Pam (Teri Polo, who again has just a few more lines than the Byrnes' beloved cat, Jinx) are raising their twins — a somewhat simpleton son and a strident and obnoxious daughter — in an upscale tree-lined neighborhood of Chicago.

Greg has moved from ER duty to a management position (but don't worry, he's still a nurse \u2026 a male nurse!). We assume Pam is a stay-at-home mom, but she's not allowed to tell us. We do know that her mom and her dad — who has just admitted privately to Greg that he had a minor heart attack — are preparing to visit for the twins' birthday.

Ironically, Greg's new position has led to a smaller salary, and with the expensive prospect of his children's private education looming, Greg realizes he needs to increase his revenue stream. In steps bubbly pharmaceutical rep Andi Garcia (Jessica Alba) with the offer to pitch a new erectile dysfunction drug that, as the box says, is safe for people with heart conditions. We can see where all of this is headed, can't we? Alba's almost genetically modified beauty is wasted here, as the tone-deaf actress plays the role with such saccharine enthusiasm that she comes across about as sexy as a cotton-candy-filled dump truck.

When Jack and his wife, Dina (Blythe Danner, given about as much leash as Polo), arrive, Jack and Greg manage to exist briefly inside the Circle of Trust created a decade ago. Jack goes so far as to approach Greg about the possibility of his son eventually becoming the head of the family. The moniker for this imaginary position? "The Godfocker." And Michael Corleone spins in his grave.

Of course, the Circle cannot go unbroken, and the rest of the movie devolves into Greg trying to hide secrets from Jack and the rest of the family before finally acting out as he refuses to kowtow to the patriarch any longer.

Fortunately, Owen Wilson makes a return as Pam's ex — the world-traveling faux spiritualist Kevin Rawley — providing a couple of much-needed laughs. But the jokes are overwrought and taken three steps too far, and the preening peacock becomes a ridiculous caricature, even for a Fockers movie. Dustin Hoffman and Barbara Streisand also make cameos as Greg's parents, but apparently they had too much pride or too many scheduling conflicts to linger long.

After two installations, nobody expects this franchise to deliver well-crafted comedy or truly engaging plot lines. The shame is that they couldn't even cobble together the pieces at their disposal to make a passable whole and mine a little comedy silver, if not gold.

Are Greg and Pam really having problems at home? How do you find time to tend to love's flame when you're pulling toys out of mouths and making sure veggies are being eaten? How do you keep your opinionated in-laws at bay so you can raise your own kids as you see fit? Do parents see in their children grating or endearing behavior that reminds each of them of their spouse? How troubling is it that people are compelled to spend $20,000 to send their children to pre-school at a place that calls itself the Early Human School?

Who has time to answer all of these questions when there are sexagenarians with erections to deal with? Tee hee, I said "sex."

"Little Fockers"

Our grade: C-

Genre: Comedy

Running Time: 98 min

MPAA rating: PG-13

Release Date: Dec 22, 2010