For the second week in a row, we get a double dose of "Chrisley Knows Best" on USA. (It goes to once a week next week at 10 p.m. Tuesday.)
First up, Todd claims his ideal Father's Day would be "peace and quiet." "On Father's Day, it should be against the law to be in any contact with the father," he says.
Instead, the kids take him to Funopolis in Commerce. He's skeptical. "Who wants to be spun around in a circle til you puke?" he says.
"Mama looks like Shamu over there," Todd says while watching Faye on the water-based bumper cars. He decides instead of being a curmudgeon, he may as well have fun. It is "Funopolis," right?
"If you can't beat'em, join'em," he says, then pushing his daughter Savannah into the water.
He has a bad back so he skips the bumper cars but enjoys watching everyone else goof around.
Later, he feels saddened his son Kyle isn't there because Kyle is struggling with drugs and has chosen to stay off camera. Faye comforts her son. At least while the show is shooting, Chloe, Kyle's daughter, is with the Chrisleys.
He is thrilled when a photo the kids took at Old Mill Park in Roswell. The family gathers in Todd and Julie's bedroom and have a loving moment. "Today was a wonderful day," he said. "It truly was the highlight of my day. I love my picture."
In the second episode. Todd and Julie proclaim they are leaving their Roswell home of 10 years, which they sold for $2.1 million in June. (A Sotheby's sign is shown outside the home during the episode.) "We're downsizing," he says. "Chase and Savannah are leaving soon. This is a polite way to assist them to move on." Again, no reference to his bankruptcy or financial distress because why puncture the illusion?
Their new home is 12,000 square feet compared to 30,000 square feet. In other words, it's still far larger than your typical home.
Todd, of course, wants to micromanage the move. "He's going to be the chief," Julie said, "and we're going to all be his little Indians."
Ultimately, it goes smoothly and they end the night in the new home. Did they rent or buy? I have no evidence in records they purchased the home so I presume it's a rental.
Savannah is at the Miss High School pageant right in the middle of the move. She tries on a dress. "Too much boob," Todd predictably says. He tells his wife, "You've got Savannah looking like she's about to work a corner."
He keeps rejecting dresses. "People in hell want ice water but they're not going to get it," he said, pulling up his 3,000th aphorism of the day.
Later, the pageant consultant Daneta quits because Savannah is not prepared for the pageant. So Todd takes over. He seems well qualified, doesn't he? But she isn't having it. "Having my dad as a coach is like having no coach at all," she complains. "I have no hope at all."
So she begs for Daneta's forgiveness and promises to focus. She ultimately finishes the pageant in the top 15. (Apparently, they have "duel residency" in California as well so she competes for that state.) Todd says it's her last pageant. Savannah begs to differ.
"I'm going to keep working them until I win," she said. "We're not done with this yet."
And... scene.
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