Originally filed Monday, July 23, 2018 by RODNEY HO/rho@ajc.com on his AJC Radio & TV Talk blog
Every so often, someone on “Big Brother” says or does something deemed offensive by the outside world. Typically, it’s seen on the live feed and not necessarily addressed in the edited episodes that air on CBS three times a week.
But the show on Sunday night decided to air an extensive portion of a conversation between Atlanta flight attendant Bayleigh Dayton and Los Angeles dancer J.C. Mounduix. Why? Because it didn't devolve into anything nasty. Instead, the two came to a mutual understanding after the initial misunderstanding.
It started innocently enough. Mounduix is five feet tall. Bayleigh wondered if he qualified to be a midget or dwarf. J.C. said he was technically neither but also noted that little people perceive the word “midget” as derogatory.
“It’s like gay and f***** or [the N-word] and black,” he said, using the N-word in its full form as opposed to just saying “N-word.”
Bayleigh was instantly offended.
“You’re not allowed to say that,” she said. “Don’t do that again.”
J.C. was confused at first.
She explained in the private confession room that “it’s a term used in order to degrade a certain type of human being. If he had literally said the N-word, I would have been fine.”
He explained that he was using it in a contextual term, basically equating the M-word in his world to the N-word in hers. “I was just trying to make a point,” he said. “When you say midget, it’s really offensive.” [CBS chose to bleep out the M-word, as it did the N-word.]
She said she was asking a question in regards to the M-word. C.J. said he was not offended and she said she wasn’t trying to be offensive.
Both sides seemed to be right and it could have just ended there. But things got tense because she insisted he should never say the word ever under any context. She thought he was trying to shut her down, which didn’t seem to be the case watching the scene. “I’m allowed to have opinions, too,” she said. She thought his contextual statement was “hurtful towards me,” which he denied.
She walked away. He soon realized the gravity of the situation and asked her for a one-on-one follow up. He noted in the confession room that he knows about discrimination being short, gay and Hispanic.
Bayleigh also provided her own context as a black person in a virtually all-white neighborhood. She never lived a day in her own skin without it being pointed out that she was black. “I will never let anyone degrade me or my race in that kind of way,” she said.
She interpreted what he said as “yelling” at her and telling her not to be offended.
C.J. approaches her for a reconciliation pow wow. She said she felt like he was not letting her speak and that makes her angry. “I don’t want to scream at you,” she said. “I’m just trying to explain to you that what you did wasn’t acceptable and I didn’t like it. If something offended you, I would never say it.”
“I’m sorry I used that word. I understand how it could be hurtful to you,” he said.
They shared stories about discrimination.
She felt he was insulting her intelligence by repeating his points. She wanted to stand up for herself. “You don’t have to be right all the time,” she said.
“I can’t understand you more,” he said. He said he hated himself so much.
“That’s why it triggers me so much,” Bayleigh said. “I worked all my life to be comfortable with myself,” she said. “I’m not going to tolerate that with anyone. I’m finally comfortable in my skin and I’m not going to let anyone take that away from me.”
They hugged.
By the way, I am not even sure what our standard policy is for the word “midget” so I minimized use of it in this story once I noted it high up and largely referred to it as the M-word later.
Bayleigh,a former Miss Missouri who now works at Delta, has survived more than a month in the house. If she can make it 90 days, she could win $500,000. So far, she has had a showmance with a dude who goes by Swaggy C but he was the second one voted out. She is not part of the alliance that is in control of the game for now and could very well be targeted at some point soon.
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