Best quotes from 'Chrisley Knows Best': season 3, episodes 5 and 6

ajc.com

Credit: Rodney Ho

Credit: Rodney Ho

By RODNEY HO/ rho@ajc.com, originally filed Wednesday June 17, 2015

Another week, two more episodes of "Chrisley Knows Best" and sadly, these two had far fewer Todd Chrisley quotes worth quoting.

The storylines played off last week when Todd's 17-year-old daughter Savannah decided she wanted to go to college a year early - at the same time as his oldest son Chase.

In the first epsiode, Todd places Savannah on a budget (a mere $100 a week) to teach her about money. She naturally blows the cash and runs out of gas. She tries to make some money both babysitting and dogsitting. But she can't do both at the same time and blows it. So she holds a yard sale and cashes in some of her old clothes. Todd's wife Julie and his mom Faye go on a wellness retreat but cut out the second day because it's too strenuous.

In episode two, the family drives to Nashville to check out a university for Savannah. But in Murfreesboro, 30 miles outside of the city, Todd loses the keys to the car, forcing them to stay in a cat-infested inn for the night until Faye drives up with the spare keys. After checking out the college, Savannah goes out to a saloon to line dance with ladies she met at the university. Todd tries to disguise himself to keep an eye on her and she catches him. He learns he has to let his precious favorite daughter go at some point. (We also learn Todd never went to college.) She gets into the university.

Money, money, money

"You can't afford Louis Vuitton freedom." - Todd to Savannah

"If I didn't have Botox, you would know how pissed off I am!' - Todd to Savannah about running out of gas

1990s references:

"Thelma and Louise. You know how that ended." - Todd, to Julie and Faye before their wellness retreat adventure

"I look like the damn Unabomber." - Todd, in a ridiculously bad disguise while "spying" on Savannah at Whiskey Rent Saloon

Perspective

"It could be worse. We could be ugly." Chase, after Todd lost the car keys

Todd's angry sputtering quote of the week

"I'm going to go right now because I swear I'm going to lose what religion I have left in my body." - Todd to his mom, who said she couldn't drive to Nashville immediately to give them the spare key because she was too inebriated

Inn-raged

"What the hell is an inn? It looks like someone's house. This woman's stuff is everywhere!" - Todd, not thrilled by accommodations in Murfreesboro

"Cats suck the life out of you." - Todd, noting the populace at the inn

Dorm life, Todd style

"You can't do a chandelier or anything?" - Todd, checking out a dorm room for Savannah at private Nashville Christian college Lipscomb University