"There are so many strip clubs in Atlanta the talent pool is getting pretty fat," I likely said the first time I entered the Clermont Lounge, circa 1984.
Exploratory missions to the Cheetah, Magic City and other venues made me realize the stripper fauna of our fair city is diverse and plentiful.
Surely, Atlanta must have more strip clubs than any place in America, right!?
Despite what you may hear from the droves of married men visiting Atlanta for business conventions, the answer is no.
According to a clearly biased report, Atlanta has slid down the pole to 5th.
No. 1? Portland, Oregon.
Not only does the West Coast town popular with people who don't bath regularly have more strip clubs per capita, but "when it comes to self-imposed eccentricity" Portland has no equal, says Priceonomics.
Blondie used to crush beer cans, but Portland has the "world’s first vegan gentleman’s club" where strip club patrons "make it rain" with veggies (including red bell pepper and tomatoes if the photo is to be believed).
I think most Atlanta strippers would prefer leafy green in the garter to a picked peck of peppers (or even a pickled peck of peepers).
It's not as easy to crown a strip club capital as you might think.
PolitiFact has written, "counting [strip] clubs is not an exact science," which makes me think they are not as dedicated to interesting topics as they are boring ones.
Priceonomics used a list provided by a NSFW website to determine the number of strip clubs in each city, which sounds pretty lazy too.
Speaking of lazy, see the graphic below for the 'Stripiest Cities' rankings.
The fatal flaw in Priceonomics' research? They only count establishments featuring naked women!
Are the talents of Atlanta's many talented male strippers worth nothing?
On behalf of Atlanta pride, I demand a recount.
More news I found interesting:
- Teen girl scared of toilets dies of heart attack
- Son shoots home invasion suspects with AK-47
- Tennessee store puts up legal 'no gays allowed' sign
- Social worker may be fired for helping child after case was closed
- TSA seizes $75,000 in cash from airport traveler
- Polygamist family applies for marriage license
- Researcher who faked HIV vaccine results sent to prison