A friend of mine, Ray, has been seeing someone for two years. Ray has been very happy in this relationship so I was surprised when he mentioned a pending break up. When I asked why, he said his girlfriend really misrepresented herself…a lot.

I thought he was overreacting until I got more information. She did sort of revise her past, lie by omission, and pretended to be someone different. It was rather sad to see that she kept a facade going for so long. I started to think about why so many people find it hard to be who they really are.

Everyone is afraid of rejection on some level, which is natural. It is part of taking a risk on someone. People worry about being enough or getting judged. You have to care enough to open up and ask the right questions.

It is easy to buy into a fantasy that someone sells you. It takes courage to go deeper and check authenticity. How well do you know the people you date? Do you think you can sense when someone is misrepresenting who they are?

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