Helpdesk No. 2
Q: There are many computer repair people. Is there a way to determine honesty? If so, what is it? — Barry Karas
A: Is there any foolproof way of determining that a person is honest? I don’t know of one that is foolproof. But the best way I know is through checking a person’s reputation. People who are consistently honest or dishonest are building a reputation for either good or bad. So if you are considering a computer repair shop start by entering the shop’s name — or the repair person’s name — into a search engine such as Google. Then see what people are saying.
But don’t stop there. Check with the Better Business Bureau online or by phone to see whether there are complaints about the shop. Even good businesses get a few complaints, so look for a pattern. One or two complaints may — or may not — mean something.
Also spend some time on the phone with the person. While it is possible to be fooled, many times your common sense will help you evaluate the person. Finally, since you can’t know with certainty, make sure that the shop offers a written guarantee. Then, at the least, you’ll have a document that you can legally enforce should all else fail you.
There are thousands of ways to kill a computer. Some are fast; some are slow. But all of them can be as lethal as a hangman’s noose.
Today we’ll explore some of the ways you can become a mass murderer of computers. Why would you want to do that? Well, it’s none of my business. But even if there’s no murder in your heart, this becomes a pretty good guide as far as what not to do if you’d like to keep your computer around a bit longer.
Death by electrocution
Have you ever shuffled across a carpet on a dry winter’s day and felt a shock when you grabbed a doorknob? It offers a harmless tingle to humans. But static electricity is a real killer when it comes to computers.
When you have the cover off to install a new hard disk, or memory chips, or just to clean out the innards of the machine, you have an opportunity to destroy your PC. If even a tiny spark of static electricity jolts a component on the machine’s circuit board it can — and often does — serve as a first-class executioner.
If you’d like to avoid the momentary thrill of all that, simply touch — fairly often as you work — the metal chassis of the machine. That will discharge any static and save the machine so that you can kill it another day, another way.
Death by fire
Heat is a fine method for offing your machine. One way to get enough heat to do the job cleanly is to let dust build up inside your computer. That blanket of dust — just like the blanket on your bed — holds in heat. Over time — and it may take months so be patient — that heat will destroy your computer.
If you prefer to avoid that, the solution is simple. Open up the machine and use a can of compressed air to blow away the dust. Make sure that you’re blowing the dust out of the computer, not just rearranging it. And keep in mind the instructions for death by electrocution above to keep the computer safe from static charges.
Downloading death
It may take a few tries, but if you download enough free programs from the Internet you are almost certain to come across one filled with viruses, Trojans and other malware. So don’t give up if your first few tries leave your machine healthy and running great. You’ll eventually get there.
There are plenty of safe programs — great ones that are free — but if you don’t know which ones are safe and which ones are lethal, the smart thing to do is just to avoid the temptation. If you want to make sure of getting a killer download do this. Look for commercial programs that are offered free, sites that offer hacking software or pornography — the odds go way up in favor of finding a lethal combination when you steer toward those seamy and sometimes steamy sites.
A powerful jolt
A lot of would-be murderers of PCs pin their hopes on a lightning bolt. If it hits close enough to home it’s an excellent way to destroy the computer. But if you know your way around computers you understand that there are less dramatic but equally effective ways to plug into ways to zap your machine.
Ordinary household current — even on a good day — fluctuates more than you’d guess. Some of it comes over the grid; some comes from ups and downs of voltage created when a power-hungry device in your own home powers up.
This method takes some patience. You can’t depend on a lethal dose overnight. But eventually these ups and downs will kill your machine. If this isn’t how you want to kill your PC you could always get a UPS (uninterruptable power supply). It uses the built-in battery to filter out the problems. And, of course, it’s also great for its intended purpose — providing an emergency supply of electricity for times when the power goes out at your home.
I hope you’ll find one of these methods useful if you’d like to destroy your computer. And for those sissies out there who shy away from killing, well, it’s OK if you use this as a cheat sheet to avoid computer problems.
