The school’s mascot is based on Donald Duck and the football team’s offense also resembles a cartoon, or possibly a video game, or possibly astrophysics.
The athletic department is basically a toy department for Nike, which funded a $68 million football training facility (including a barber shop, because, why not?) and pallet of uniform choices that looks like a Sherwin-Williams chip kiosk (six helmets, eight jerseys, eight pants and a blur of accessorizing options with shoes, socks, gloves and decals).
This is what Oregon football sells. The area is fertile with pine trees, not recruits. So coaches need to lure players from other parts of the country, wowing them like candy-fueled 8-year-olds by playing to their visual senses: green pants, chrome helmets, glow-in-the-dark cleats, speed, great theater, 57-point offenses.
It’s working, and now Oregon appears on the verge of a championship that would serve as affirmation of a relative makeover in college football. If Old School football would speak, it would say: These punks are taking over.
“I think nationally, hopefully, the perspective of not only our team but our conference would elevate,” Oregon coach Mark Helfrich said when asked how a national championship would alter perceptions of his program. “The SEC has had that right to puff out their chest and with very good reason for the past several years, but we think we’re doing a lot of the right things on this side of the country. It would validate things externally a lot more than I think internally.”
Florida State coach Jimbo Fisher is convinced. Oregon spun his team in circles and then punched it in the face. The Seminoles hadn’t experienced defeat in 26 months, but they were humiliated by a team dressed in green-and-yellow — not Packers’ green-and-yellow; more like their hyperactive, A.D.D. nephew — and lost to the Ducks 59-20.
The Rose Bowl has been played for 101 years but had never seen a participant score 59 points and total 637 yards. The Ducks set or equaled 10 records. They scored on six consecutive possessions. They amused themselves and let Florida State score a touchdown to narrow the score to 25-20, then scored five consecutive touchdowns (four following turnovers). Four came on offensive possessions that totaled — totaled — six minutes, six seconds and a 58-yard fumble return by a linebacker, Tony Washington, whose sprint even dazzled an offensive-mind coach.
“Saw T-Dub’s burst,” Helfrich said. “Talked to the receiver coach after. He may be moving next week.”
Oregon plays Ohio State in the college football championship game Jan. 12. Be still, my heart. It turns out a football championship can be contested without a school from the SEC, ACC or any team south of the Mason-Dixon Line.
Two years ago, the increased use of spread offenses and Oregon’s hurry-up philosophy led Alabama coach Nick Saban to express concern about “player safety.” And we all laughed because Saban’s only concern was that his defensive mind hadn’t figured out a way to stop it.
Sorry, but, “That’s not fair!” isn’t going to cut it, and Oregon isn’t going anywhere. It plays football like athletes run 40s, not miles.
Makes sense. The Ducks regularly collect national titles in two sports: outdoor track and field, indoor track and field. But the football program has been building to this for a while, particularly since former coach Mike Bellotti hired some obscure offensive coordinator from New Hampshire in 2007 named Chip Kelly. The Ducks have been top-10 residents ever since. They played in the BCS title game in 2010 (losing to Auburn) and finished No. 2 in the rankings in 2012 (losing only to Stanford by a field goal in overtime).
Their cumulative record in the past five seasons: 60-7. And the Quack shall inherit the earth.
Fisher is appropriately impressed: “They’re in a state that doesn’t have a large number of high school players or top recruits, but they’ve done it with facilities, presentation and uniforms. They create a niche for people who want to come from long distances. Why are (recruits) bypassing all of these other places? Is it the facilities? Is it the uniforms? They also win a lot of football games.”
Helfrich, who stepped in when Kelly went to the NFL last year, was criticized when he had the temerity to lose two games. He’s now in position not only to win a championship but forever change perceptions about the program and the 78-speed offense. Kelly overhauled the Philadelphia Eagles, not just with his offensive philosophy but his approach to conditioning and nutrition. The Eagles are 20-12 in his two seasons after going 12-20 in the previous two.
In other words, Oregon’s impact goes beyond uniforms.
“The ascension probably started a little bit with the helmets and the uniforms and all that kind of stuff, but hopefully we’ve moved beyond that,” Helfrich said. “The uniforms don’t give you points. If they do, we’d love that. Maybe we could look into that.”
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