It would be easy to come away from such obloquy thinking I lived in something akin to those video games that portend a post-apocalyptic world in which mutated life forms chase humans across a toxic tundra.
For a time I thought perhaps there was some sort of incentive program going on with restaurants and retailers ITP, who gave points toward a future purchase for the best broadside aimed at OTP living. But I’ve since learned that some people hate the ’burbs for no substantive antecedent. As a child, when we encountered hate with no reason our mothers told us those people were jealous, but I still don’t buy that one.
A wise man once told me when we compare ourselves to one another we court unhappiness, but we find genuine kinship when we identify with each other. Can we, regardless of our home ZIP codes, clasp hands across the table and pledge to cease this alphabet-laden folly? I hope so, because I hate the idea that some toothless yahoos out in those little jerkwater country towns might be laughing like a bunch of soused hyenas at our expense — can we at least agree on that?
Jim Osterman lives in Sandy Springs. Reach him at email@example.com