It can’t be easy to keep believing all the things that the Trump faith requires you to believe these days, particularly when they so often contradict each other.
For example:
1.) According to Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen, “we don’t have a policy of separating families at the border.”
Also, according to Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen, the Trump administration will continue its policy of separating families at the border. “We have to do our job. We will not apologize for doing our job. We have sworn to do this job.”
2.) It’s wrong to protest the Trump policy of separating parents and children because as the Bible tells us in Romans 13, “God has ordained the government for His purposes” and thus government should always be obeyed.
Also, we have to honor the most extreme interpretations of the Second Amendment, because without a personal arsenal, how can we violently overthrow the government?
3.) We need a zero-tolerance policy for lawbreakers, which means that even misdemeanor violations of immigration law must be prosecuted.
Also, it’s “very unfair” and even cruel to throw Paul Manafort in jail and to prosecute him for crimes committed years ago. I mean, the man has children!
4.) Special counsel investigations are unconstitutional.
Also, we need another special counsel to investigate the first special counsel.
5.) Under President Trump, the United States of America is finally regaining the respect of the rest of the world.
Also, who cares if the rest of the world now hates the United States?
6.) The Trump administration is finally taking the tough steps on immigration enforcement that previous administrations refused to take. In the words of Attorney General Jeff Sessions, “The previous administration wouldn’t prosecute illegal aliens who entered the country with children.”
Also, the Trump administration is handling the issue of children at the border the exact same way that the Obama administration did and it’s fake news to claim otherwise.
7.) Tough enforcement policies implemented by Trump have finally slowed the surge of illegal immigrants across our southern border.
Also, the number of illegal immigrants crossing our southern border has tripled from a year ago, reaching emergency crisis proportions.
8.) President Trump has absolute authority to pardon himself for any crimes that he has committed, and he might also pardon Michael Cohen, Paul Manafort and Michael Flynn to “clean up” after the Mueller investigation, according to Rudy Giuliani.
Also according to Giuliani, President Trump hasn’t even thought about pardoning himself, Manafort, Cohen or Flynn because he knows the Mueller investigation won’t find anything.
9.) Trump is itching to talk with special counsel Robert Mueller.
Also, Trump must never sit down to talk with special counsel Robert Mueller.
10.) Nobody in the Trump campaign ever had contacts with Russians. That would be crazy.
Also, members of the Trump campaign had so many contacts with Russians that it’s unreasonable to expect them to remember them all.
Also, it would be foolish NOT to have meetings with Russians during the campaign.
11.)It’s time to end the investigation by Mueller, who was appointed special counsel way back in May of 2017.
Also, it’s time to reopen the investigation into Hillary Clinton, who resigned as secretary of state in February of 2013.
12.) Finally, white conservatives and Christians are the most persecuted groups in this country.
Also, liberals are snowflakes and minorities should stop acting like victims.
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