This should be fun. I’m writing this from Amelia Island in Northwest Florida, where in a few hours I will be delivering a speech to the Southeast Lumber Manufacturer’s Association.
I’ve been working on this one for a while. It’s the stump speech I would deliver if I were running for president but wanted to make sure I didn’t have a chance of winning.
In other words, I’m fixin’ to tell these people exactly what I think.
We’re going to start out with a bit of negative campaigning about President Barack Obama. We need to explore how a man with so little understanding of what it means to be an American, with no real experience at much of anything except schmoozing leftists and community organizing, and with virtually no private sector experience managed to become president of the United States. More importantly, we’re going to explore the long-term consequences of having an electorate who could put a man like this into office.
I think I also need to tell this convention audience that there is no guarantee our present situation is survivable. After all, world history is full of dynasties, monarchies, dictatorships and theocracies; but representative democracies — republics, if you will — are few and far between, and history shows they usually die a violent death. The life expectancies of governments such as ours is just a bit over 200 years, and we’re there. The slide to the ultimate end seems to be when the people have figured out that they can use the ballot box to claim someone else’s property; and we’re there as well.
But citing our problems in my un-candidate speech won’t be enough, so I’m surely going to have to present some solutions.
First, I think, would be to cull the voter registration lists. There is, after all, no constitutional right to vote in a presidential election, and perhaps turning away the moochers, the parasites and those who have no clue how government works — in other words, Democratic voters — would be a good first step.
Next we need to reform education in order to expand our voter rolls with people who actually DO have a clue how things work. Voters who understand the difference between a republic and a democracy, and that our Founding Fathers considered democracy to be a hideously dangerous form of government. I think schoolchildren should know that it was considered an insult to call someone a democrat in the days when our country was founded.
To reform our system of education we would immediately get rid of the $100 billion a year teacher’s union support mechanism known as the Department of Education and move to local control and voucher systems from coast to coast.
My un-candidate speech then moves to defining the difficult concept of “rights” under our system of government. The lumberjacks are surely going to love my explanation of why health care most certainly isn’t a right — and that you cannot claim a right to a portion of another person’s life or property as the “health care is a right” crowd surely does. The same goes for all the other “rights” that the left likes to claim, such as the right to housing, a job, a “living wage” (whatever that is) and Viagra.
Now since we’re just up the coast from the Cape, perhaps a few words about NASA would be in order. I’ll tell the now-completely bored out of their minds audience that the sonic boom heard across South Florida as Atlantis came home for the last time was actually the starting pistol for NASA’s new endeavor, its new primary mission, as dictated to NASA Administrator Charles F. Bolden last year by Barack Obama. That is, of course, to make Muslims feel good about their contributions to science, math and engineering.
Then it’s time for the standing O.
What fun.
Listen to Neal Boortz live from 8:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. weekdays on AM 750 and 95.5FM News/Talk WSB.
His column appears every Saturday. For more Boortz, go to boortz.com
