On the morning of June 8, a Columbus hospital called to tell us that Kara, our 43-year-old daughter, was in the ICU as the result of a prescription drug overdose. Later that day, she was pronounced deceased. Her death is devastating to many, including her two children, my wife and me, her grandmother, co-workers in Columbus, friends and others.
Equally devastating was the death of our other child, Jonathan, 35, who died in 2003 from a drug overdose in his Cobb County condominium.
Although it is very unusual for parents to lose both their children to drugs, overdose deaths are the leading cause of injury fatalities in the U.S. and now surpass motor vehicle deaths. Indeed, the most prescribed drug in the U.S., and one that is abused, is hydrocodone, a narcotic pain reliever; we consume 99 percent of the world’s production in this country alone. So we know more and more family members are experiencing these losses.
While is it understandable society’s resources and attention primarily focus on drug abusers, there are far more people affected by drug abuse than there are abusers. This very large group of families and significant others is the silent majority in the world of substance abuse.
Having a loved one in the family with a drug abuse problem is a nightmare that won’t go away. Families can experience years of sleepless nights, lies, manipulative behavior and stress from not knowing the whereabouts of their loved one. Often, grandparents must step in and assume parenting responsibilities for their grandchildren. The substance abuser may be belligerent, irrational and unwilling to reason with family members. In some families, the drug abuser may steal from relatives, intimidate them or threaten suicide.
Children are significantly affected physically and emotionally. More than half of all child abuse and neglect cases involve drugs. Similarly, drug use is a factor in most domestic violence cases. If a family member with a drug abuse problem becomes unemployed, the family is affected financially and may lose health insurance coverage. When the drug abuser encounters criminal charges, families struggle with decisions about paying for bail, attorneys, fines and other issues from involvement in the criminal justice system.
The problems are endless. They cause families to experience a range of emotions including fear, anger, resentment, confusion and profound disappointment. These stressors often continue for many years, often with little help or support in dealing with these very difficult situations.
In the U.S., we need better ways to connect with and help those affected by another's drug abuse. Perhaps we could learn from the efforts of Scottish Families Affected by Drugs (http://www.sfad.org.uk/) and Adfam (http://www.adfam.org.uk/). These organizations offer training for professionals who work with drug abusers and support for those affected in the United Kingdom.
Because of the stigma that continues about drug abuse, affected families tend to feel a sense of guilt and shame, often refusing to talk about the problem or seek help. There is nothing worse for families than trying to figure it all out in isolation, but families will not seek assistance if they feel judged and misunderstood.
It is important to realize that having a family member with a drug problem is no different from having one with a serious health problem. The challenge is for our society to move quicker to eliminate the stigma of drug abuse and addiction.
Jan Ligon is an associate professor of social work at Georgia State University.
