Help! What am I going to do about gay marriage?

This whole gay marriage thing has me pretty rattled. Here's my problem: I'm not ready to get gay married.

I mean, it's great for other folks, if that's what they want, especially if they're gay. But it's just all too sudden for me. Seriously, I don't even own a skinny-cut tux or a rainbow cumberbund. And what am I going to tell my wife?

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