Dads make time for play

"Potty training is a big topic. So is teething and transitioning to a big kids bed," said 33-year-old Williams, who works in the Information Technology department at Emory Healthcare. "I didn't want to be one of those old-school guys you would see on TV who would work all the time and come home and just kiss his kids good night. I knew I wanted to be an equal parent. Not just changing diapers, but I go to just as many doctor's appointments as my wife."

From emerging daddy playgroups to dads joining parenting blogs (which were once almost exclusively all-mom spaces) to more men walking their kids to school, experts say momentum is building for more ully engaged fathers — a new breed of dads worth celebrating on this Father's Day.

A survey this month by the Parent-Teacher Association and the National Center for Fathering found 54 percent of men take their children to school, up from 38 percent in 1999. The survey of 1,000 parents also found 45 percent of dads regularly attended school events, up from 34 percent a decade ago. The biggest gains showed a leap in the percentage of dads meeting with other dads for support — 37 percent in 2009 compared to 17 percent in 1999.

The meetup.com site boasts 171 assorted dads groups across the country; nearly half of them took root during the past seven months (there are five in metro Atlanta).

Stephanie Azzarone, president of Child's Play Communications, a 21-year-old company specializing in marketing to moms, has been struck by the recent surge in dads chatting on mommy blogs. With so many wanting to review toys and TV shows, she's launching a new review team next month — for dads. She's calling it the "Digital Dad" review team.

In recent decades, several studies have underscored the critical role of fathers in the lives of their children.

Links have been made between everything from a child getting good grades to a child being less likely to engage in risky behavior, according to Vivian Gadsden, director of the National Center on Fathers and Families at the University of Pennsylvania.

Peter Spokes, president of the Kansas-based National Center for Fathering, believes today's fathers are more likely to define their worth by the riches that come from everyday relationships than the ones that come on payday.

"You hear about the baby boomer generation, and they were focused on achievement," said Spokes. "But this new generation of dads, when you hear them talk about their jobs, you hear them talk about work-family balance."

Not to say there isn't room for improvement. The PTA/National Center for Fathering survey also found 40 percent of dads never read to their child, unchanged over the past decade. And only 14 percent of fathers have lunch with their child at school at least once a month, up slightly from 9 percent a decade ago.

Playtime in daddy's office

On the 40th floor of an office building downtown, 3-year-old girls Brooke Babbit and Cate Gracie Beeson arrive on a recent afternoon for one of their regular in-office daddy playdates at the Mother Nature Network. Brooke's father, Joel Babbit, founded the eco-Web site. Cate Gracie's dad is the company's marketing guru. But for the next couple hours, the dads put the brakes on work and play indoor hopscotch and hide-and-seek. The girls draw suns and stick figures of their daddies on the erasable wall — normally used for company meetings.

"Sometimes I don't get home till 8 p.m. I don't want to be one of those weekend dads. I want to have quality time with my daughters. I have two daughters and a big part of my day is spending time with them. And, when I don't have that, oh, it tugs at your heart," said Beeson, who lives in Roswell and also has a 7-year-old daughter, Samantha, who often visits him at work.

Cate Gracie reminded her daddy he promised she could press all of the buttons on the elevator — and she did. Playmate Brooke helped her daddy by passing notes to employees.

Joel Babbit usually gives his daughter a dollar for helping out. But at the close of this particular playdate, she thought she deserved a raise — she asked for a dollar and a quarter. (Daddy handed over the cash).

Basketball and families

Every Saturday morning, a group of dads — 15 of them (and their children) — descend on basketball courts and adjacent playgrounds in the Buckhead area.

Some of the 30- and 40-something-year old dads played college hoops, and now that they have kids, they bring them along. They take turns playing ball and playing with the throng of kids.

Take 42-year-old Rodney Murray, for example, a former guard at Oglethorpe University. His Saturday mornings begin at 8:30 a.m. with packing up the car with a Dora scooter and tricycles.

"When you are not playing basketball, you are helping a kid ride a bike or helping a child across a monkey bar," said Murray. "If it's raining and we are inside a gym, we are making teepees out of mats and playing Duck, Duck Goose."

The moms are also keen on this Saturday morning routine.

Autumn Murray, a stay-at-home mom, uses the few free hours to get some chores done, squeeze in a run and indulge in her new book. Her daughter Ava also loves the daddy playdates.

"Every day, she asks me, 'Is it basketball day with daddy?'" said Autumn Murray. (The Murrays also have an almost 2-year-old son, Asa, who started going recently, too).

The ritual goes back several years to a time when Bill Doyle, a veteran member, brought his infant son to the games. And today, the dads go every Saturday even if they are recovering from a sprained ankle or another type of game-related injury.

Doyle's son Brooks is now 15 — and he plays basketball with the dads.

"Everyone is very accepting and encouraging," said Doyle. "For us, it's not just basketball. It's also about spending time with our kids."

Dads talk to one another

On a recent Saturday, the Decatur dads group and kids went to a neighborhood public pool for a splash-filled playdate.

A group of giddy toddlers tossed beach balls and spun around in the pool.

"This group has helped me realize we are all going through a lot of the same things," said Dads Group member Braxton O'Neal, father to 3-year-old Harrison. "I think it's helped me not to take things so seriously and relax more."

Before long Whitaker, clad in an SPF 50 swim suit cover up, asked for a snack, and the group headed to the picnic table. After gobbling up sliced strawberries, apples and cucumber, they jumped back in the water.

Williams' dads group also meets about once a month without the kids — meeting up for a beer or slice of pizza.

"We talk about music and cars and, of course, we talk about our jobs a lot," he said.

"But the theme we always come back to is our kids and our families, because that's what it's all about."