Dear Abby: My friend “Eden” recently told me her husband
constantly compares her to me. It came up because she asked how I
was feeling in my first trimester of pregnancy, and I confided that
I have been having a tough time keeping up with my household duties.
Instead of sympathizing, she said, “Wow! I’ll have to tell my
husband that, because he’s always talking about how clean your house
is and how you cook dinner for your family every night.”
I was really hurt that she was taking pleasure in my failures. I
also felt uncomfortable that her husband compares her unfavorably to
me. It isn’t the first time she has mentioned how he talks about me.
I have distanced myself, hoping things would get better, but
when I see her, she invariably manages to get in a little “dig.” I’m
unsure how to handle this. We’re neighbors and have mutual friends.
I thought we were friends, but now I realize she harbors some
resentment toward me for something I didn’t cause. Help! — No contest in Maryland.
Dear No Contest: Unless Eden’s husband stops using you as the
cudgel to beat her down with, you can forget being friends. A way to
handle it would be to talk to her husband and say, “Please stop
comparing me to your wife because it is affecting our friendship!”
Dear Abby: Whenever my best friend smells a cough drop, she
comments that it’s “rude” to eat one in public and that if someone
is sick, the person should stay home.
I would much rather smell someone’s cough drop than listen to
coughing during an entire movie or opera. Some people may have
bought expensive tickets to a show only to get sick the day before
or have allergies that cause them to cough.
So is it rude to eat a cough drop in public or not? —
Unbothered in Texas
Dear Unbothered: If it was bad manners to pop a cough drop into
one’s mouth in public, more than a few large brands would be out of
business. While I agree with your friend that if people are sick
they should stay home, some coughs linger beyond the stage when they
are contagious.
I do NOT think that because someone bought expensive tickets to
an event and gets sick the day before that it’s all right to attend
anyway and risk infecting everyone within “cough-shot.” The
considerate thing to do is to cancel and ask for a refund.
Dear Abby: I have a friend in another state who has been posting
on Facebook about her diagnosis of cancer. Her postings started in
October, followed by more postings about delay after delay in the
treatment.
First it was insurance — she doesn’t have any. Then it was
multiple CAT scans and PETs. Now she’s planning her own fundraiser,
and I’m beginning to think she has made the whole thing up. It looks
like there will be no treatment until after the fundraiser, even
though she claims the cancer is stage 4. What do you think? —
Suspicious in New York
Dear Suspicious: I think that if there is any doubt in your mind
about this woman’s character, you should not contribute. And I also
think that if your suspicions are true, your friend is planning to
commit fraud and could wind up “recuperating” in prison.
To my Jewish Readers: Why is tonight different from every other
night? Because Passover begins at sundown. Happy Passover, everyone!
Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA
90069.
