Dear Jenny: I had two best friends in high school. After a falling out, I am still in contact with one but haven't spoken to the other in several years. Recently, Friend One (the one I'm close to) revealed something I told her in confidence to Friend Two, the one I no longer speak to. I was upset, of course, but even more so when Friend Two used this information to try and sabotage my relationship, sending my partner an email with this confidential information. I'm so upset with Friend One, who clearly cannot keep her lips zipped, and I don't know how to confront her about the situation. What should I do? -- Anonymous, New York
Jenny says: I understand your feelings are hurt, and you are angry with your friend for betraying you. I've experienced the same thing, and it's not fun! It's painful when we make ourselves vulnerable and share private information with friends or family members, and they then share it with someone else. We tend to question the person and the relationship, their motives and their reasons for dishonesty.
It's easy to become a victim and hold on to your anger and resentment. However, if your relationship with your friend is truly valuable, and your love runs deep, trust can be re-established. Often, relationships that experience disharmony emerge stronger. But you will need some resolve to move on.
In your case, even though you do not want to confront your friend, it would be a good idea to have a conversation with her. Without bringing up the specific event, you can have a heart to heart with her about the importance of trust. Be clear about your expectations and what information you consider to be private. By setting specific boundaries, you will dissolve any future disappointments. Once you've had that discussion, let go of your anger and remind yourself of all of the wonderful things your friend brings to your life.
To find out more about Jenny McCarthy and read features by Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
COPYRIGHT 2014 CREATORS.COM
