'Celebrity Apprentice' recap: Kenya and Vivica get down and dirty

On "Celebrity Apprentice," Kenya Moore says she wants to "go big or go home."

She ultimately went big and went home. And even more curiously: did she steal nemesis Vivica A Fox's phone and send out a dubious tweet?

That whole accusation didn't help Kenya but she probably would have gone home anyway given she was project manager and fumbled the task.

Entering task 10, Kenya leads Geraldo Rivera and Vivica A. Fox as her team. The other side features project manager Johnny Damon, Leeza Gibbons, Ian Ziering and Brandi Glanville. The challenge is to create Instagram-worthy "photo bomb" ads for King's Hawaiian rolls.

Ian thinks large himself by using the New York skyline as his inspiration (and a helicopter to help with the visuals). The executives love the imagery.

Kenya focuses on human buns - as a tie in to King's Hawaiian "buns." There are plenty of photos juxtaposing King's Hawaiian buns with women's buns. The executives like that the "buns" idea might appeal to a younger demo and Kenya puts together a solid presentation. But they ultimately deem it too risque and hates one of the slogans, "Babies Loves Buns."

"It wasn't close, actually," Trump says.

Kenya's team loses the challenge and she is immediately on the defensive. It soon becomes an epic boardroom battle of the ages between Kenya and Vivica.

Kenya says the main slogan is: "It's sweet to be king. Everybody loves our buns," noting the double entendre.

Butts are "a hot topic," she explains to Trump. "We've talked about it in this boardroom before."

"Her butt was the star of the show," Geraldo says a bit too gleefully.

"I didn't want it to be about me. I wanted it to be a team effort," Kenya claims.

"I felt a little left out, a little kicked to the curb," Vivica says. "When we immediately went into this task. She was working Geraldo, doing that Kenya thing."

Kenya: "I've been nothing but friendly to her."

Vivica: "She threw me under the bus sitting right next to me."

Kenya: "You're throwing me under the bus now.

Vivica: "I'm telling the truth. She has toxic tendencies."

Kenya: eye roll

Geraldo both helps and hurts Kenya by saying she came up with a "risky but refreshing" idea. Vivica, he says, did very little during the task.

Then it gets even uglier, courtesy first from Kenya: "From the beginning and I've noticed from the beginning of the show, Vivica had wild ups and downs emotionally. She's been very angry at times. She came after Kate [Gosselin.] I had to calm Vivica down. I've seen these hot flashes. She's been all over the place. I saw a Tweet where she said she's going through menopause."

Geraldo places his fingers in his ears. TMI!

Vivica goes for the gut: "That's a dirty ass bitch right there."

Kenya: "I don't appreciate called a name. This is not the ghetto."

Vivica: "That's the only place you can be."

Kenya: "That's not Donald Trump's brand."

Vivica: "You're a ghetto star."

Leeza Gibbons, watching from the suite: "I don't like comments about hormonal fluctuations."

Trump to Kenya: "Why are you so nasty to everyone?"

Kenya: "I'm not nasty to everybody."

Trump: "You have been."

Geraldo: "You have been nasty."

Vivica denied ever tweeting about menopause. "You're lying. I don't tweet that much."

In a bizarre twist, Trump challenged Kenya. If she can prove Vivica talked about being menopausal on her Twitter page, she stays. If Kenya is wrong, she's out.

Donald Trump Jr. checks Vivica's Twitter page and reads this: "This menopause is killing me. I can't think straight. I'm acting the damn fool half the time. 50 just isn't sexy."

Kenya is right! Or is she?

This weird interlude just gets weirder because Vivica said her phone was stolen during the challenge. And she instantly blamed Kenya.

Geraldo says yes, Vivica had lost her phone.

Trump just has this bemused smile on his face. He's loving every second of this ridiculous scene.

Vivica: "I have a brand! I'd never put something out like that."

Kenya denies she had anything to do with the Tweet. "I've taken a lot of heat in this boardroom," Kenya says.

Trump: "Do you have her phone?"

Vivica: "She plays dirty."

Trump: "We've really reached a new low!"

Geraldo muses: "That makes Omarosa look like an angel."

Kenya: "I don't feel like you're my competition. I"m not a thief."

Trump: "But you lost because of your creativity."

Kenya: "I did contribute a lot to this project."

Trump: "I put you over here to help the team. You didn't help the team."

Kenya: Chesire Cat grin as usual. She then goes on her "kiss Trump's butt" campaign. "I want to thank you for this opportunity. You have been nothing but gracious." Blah blah blah.

Then to Vivica: "I wish you all the luck in the world. I certainly do not go...":

Vivica: "I could care less. Bounce! She stole my phone!"

Kenya: "What a ridiculous person."

In the limo, Kenya says: "I'm not going to talk about the phone .That's inflammatory. That's damaging to me. I'm not a thief. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

A livid Vivica afterwards: "Kenya is one of the most selfish, toxic human beings I've ever worked with. Bitch - go!" And she throws one more salvo to Trump before the next task: "She's a thief, a liar and a snake in the grass."

"Other than that," Trump cracks, "you liked her!"

***

There was a second hour where half the final six players were just cut in a jingle challenge for Anheiser Busch. It was kind of unfair in many ways but this is Trump's game. The celebrities are just living in it. So Ian Ziering, Brandi Glanville and Johnny Damon were unceremoniously booted all at once.

***

After the first three episodes, I handicapped the remaining 13 players. I didn't do too badly. The top 5 people, I figured, were Leeza Gibbons, Vivica A. Fox, Geraldo Rivera, Ian Ziering and Terrell Owens. I was really only wrong about Terrell. I also greatly under-estimated Brandi Glanville, who lasted far longer than I had expected, finishing in the top 6.  And Johnny Damon won twice as project manager. I will admit, I had a clue about Leeza, Vivica and Ian because they were on a phone conference the day the casting was announced. I figure NBC publicity wouldn't have given us folks who were eliminated early.

Leeza Gibbons: She has been largely drama free and got along with everybody. She is eloquent and evokes confidence. She hasn't needed to battle too hard in the boardroom either, having won most of her challenges. She is definitely in the best position to win based on overall performance.

Vivica A. Fox: She is edgy and very very competitive. She wants to win and she'll do whatever it takes in a way Trump appreciates. She's in the finale despite the fact she lost five challenges in a row.

Geraldo Rivera: He is so full of himself, he's a caricature wrapped in a huge ball of ego. He has won his two challenges as project manager because he knew his strength was raising money from rich friends. Otherwise, he has loony ideas and frequently has undermined his teams. In fact, unlike Leeza, most of his teams lost their challenges.

***

If this season appears to be going quickly, it is. There are only nine episodes this season, the shortest of all the "Celebrity Apprentice" seasons to date. The past five seasons have ranged from 11 to 15 episodes.

Some seasons, the show would stretch a single task over two hours. This year, they aired two tasks over two hours, effectively doubling eliminations.