Breaking (joking) news: Atlanta United targeting Ronaldo, Messi

Yes, the headline is a joke.

Calm down, please.

Atlanta United President Darren Eales on Monday said that the upcoming transfer season, whenever it may be amid COVID-19, will likely be the silliest of silly seasons.

The response came to questions I asked him about Ezequiel Barco possibly being a target of Fiorentina, and the long-standing ties to out-of-contract Jurgen Damm.

Monday’s call with Eales was conducted on Zoom, which allows you to see the surroundings of the person on camera if they so choose.

Eales, infinitely clever, chose to have some fun with the medium and with what I assume that he presumed would be some of the questions.

Over Eales’ right shoulder, on a whiteboard was written:

Target List

Gareth Bale




Matt Moore

The list of players has actually been on the whiteboard for several Zoom calls Eales has had with media.


So, let’s have some fun with Eales’ fun:

Bale's market value is $36 million, according to

Messi’s is $126 million.

Griezmann’s is $108 million.

Ronaldo’s is $67 million.

Moore can’t be bought nor sold. He’s too valuable.

Add the four together and the total is $337 million.

Now, Bale seems like a bargain because it was Eales who oversaw the Welsh star’s transfer from Tottenham to Real Madrid for a then record $100 million.

Griezmann’s will rise because Inter Miami FC has been his alleged destination since that franchise was first rumored in 1789.

Ronaldo and Messi....what needs to be said?

So for the approximate combined MLS franchise prices of Atlanta United, Charlotte and Nashville, the Five Stripes could become an unstoppable force in MLS and CONCACAF.

There are obviously a few hurdles to making that happen.

But let’s just imagine that adding these players is somehow do-able and that the players want to leave Madrid, Barcelona and Turin: agents’ fees and other add-ons would mean the price to actually acquire each player would likely be 2X the market value. So, the cost of $337 million would be around $650 million. Now we are up to half the cost of Mercedes-Benz Stadium.

Finally, let’s add on salaries, easily achievable bonuses, etc. and, pulling a number out of thin air, bumps us up to $1.2 billion, or the cost of Mercedes-Benz Stadium.

Seems like a bargain to me.

Mr. Blank, write that check!


Speaking of something that seems funny but is actually pretty cool

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