Five Savannah couples celebrate many years of marriage and power of Black love this February

February is recognized as Black History Month in the U.S. and other parts of the world. It is an opportunity to honor, celebrate and commemorate the contributions and lives of Black people throughout the African Diaspora.

Credit: public domain

Credit: public domain

Sarah Boone invented the ironing board, Alice Parker invented the heating furnace, and Lewis H. Latimer invented the filament that makes light bulbs shine brighter longer. Black inventor Frederick Jones invented the first portable air conditioning unit, Garrett A. Morgan invented the traffic light, and Charles Drew invented the method to preserve blood, thus creating the first blood bank.

In February 1926, Carter Woodson initiated Negro History Week to commemorate the birthdays of Abraham Lincoln and Frederic Douglass. Woodson did this because he believed the teaching of Black history was essential to ensure the physical and intellectual survival of the Black race within the broader society. He would, no doubt, be appalled at all the push-back regarding critical race theory! But, I digress.

Valentine’s Day and Black love

Not only is February known as Black History Month, it is also the month during which we celebrate lovers – Valentine’s Day! To honor the significance of Black history and in keeping with the tradition of Valentine’s Day, this month’s column is dedicated to Black love. We often hear that the traditional Black family is in peril. Determined to debunk that myth, I spoke with five local couples married at least 15 years. The topic of discussions was marital longevity.

Credit: Photo provided

Credit: Photo provided

A common thread among all five couples is having a marital foundation in Christ. Without exception, each couple said being Christ-centered was the main ingredient to maintaining a healthy marriage.

Meet Drevon Jones and his wife District Attorney Shalena Cook-Jones. Next month, they will celebrate 15 years of marital bliss. Their secret ingredient to marital longevity is to never consider divorce — don’t ever give up. Both noted that it is necessary to give each other grace, just as God gives us grace. Drevon emphasized the importance of the show of physical love in each other’s primary love language.

Credit: Photo provided

Credit: Photo provided

Albert and Sharon Simpson have enjoyed 23 years of marriage. Albert agrees with Drevon that keeping the spice in the relationship is vital. Advice to singles? Albert emphasized getting to know self and not being dependent on others for happiness. Sharon says enjoy your singleness and remember that marriage is more than a wedding. Well said, Sharon! For couples who are struggling, Sharon’s advice was to choose battles carefully and to remember that every issue is not a war.

One of my favorite couples is Charles and Yolanda Roberson, pastors of Kingdom Life Christian Fellowship. They seem to have mastered being best friends while being married for 31 years and working together every day for many of those years. How do they do this? It’s simple — they genuinely like and respect each other.

Credit: Photo provided

Credit: Photo provided

Building a friendship is foundational. Pastor Charles spoke about unconditional love. He said that unconditional love is the currency in the marriage and the “trust” is the bank where deposits are held. For newlyweds, Pastor Yolanda suggested that expectations need to be clearly defined. She stressed the importance of clear communication. They both said it’s important for couples to have model couples they can look up to and talk with.

An important piece of advice shared by Robin Reeves was for couples to keep their business in-house. For the past 33 years, he has been married to Rhonda. The Reeves agreed that marriages are successful because each partner works at it. Rhonda added that couples who are struggling in their marriage should not be afraid to get counseling or advice. However, she cautioned that couples should be mindful of who they get counseling/advice from.

Credit: Photo provided

Credit: Photo provided

The final couple I interviewed has been married for 53 years! Robert and Shirley James are almost household names in Savannah. Yet with their often-competing schedules and high-profile status, they have remained committed to supporting each other. Robert said it’s important for couples to do things together, yet have their own space. Shirley shared a profound piece of wisdom — “the honeymoon needs to last forever!” That advice seems to be working for them!

Each couple was asked to define Black love. They “understood the assignment.” Besides noting that respect, honor and trust are ingredients for Black love, a common thread was that Black love is colorful, enduring, and is a reflection of what our ancestors put before us. Black love encompasses all of the challenges faced by Black people — from slavery through segregation through the civil rights era to current events.

Black love is a love that has endured every type of trauma possible and still says, “I choose to love.”

Credit: Photo provided

Credit: Photo provided

Maybe it’s Black love that’s a contributing factor to Georgia being among nine states in the country with the lowest divorce rates!

Have a thought-provoking Black History Month while attending both virtual and face-to-face events presented by the Savannah Black Heritage Festival. Enjoy Valentine’s Day (alone or with a loved one). Honor and celebrate Black Love!

Maxine L. Bryant, Ph.D., is a contributing lifestyles columnist for the Savannah Morning News. She is an assistant professor, Department of Criminal Justice & Criminology, director, Center for Africana Studies, and director, Gullah Geechee Cultural Heritage Center at Georgia Southern University, Armstrong Campus. Contact her at 912-344-3602 or email dr.maxinebryant@gmail.com. See more columns by her at SavannahNow.com/lifestyle/.

This article originally appeared on Savannah Morning News: Five Savannah couples celebrate many years of marriage and power of Black love this February