Every year on the third Sunday of June, our nation pauses to honor Fathers. The first known event to recognize fathers was a one-time ceremony in 1908. Two years later the state of Washington held the country’s first statewide Father’s Day observance. Over time the idea of Father’s Day spread and in 1972, President Richard Nixon signed a proclamation making Father’s Day a federal holiday. With that said, Happy Father’s Day to all fathers!
The initial events of honoring fathers occurred in 1908, 1910, and 1972. Black fathers were probably not considered valuable assets at either of those commemorations. In fact, society would have us believe Black men are largely absent from their children’s lives. Today I commit to dismantle that belief as I share vastly different experiences of four Black fathers in Savannah.
Brian Lane, 27, is the brand new, proud dad of young Brielle who will turn two next month. He and his wife, Gabrielle, have been married two years. Though he’s new to fatherhood, Brian has already settled into the position of “hero” to his daughter. His words to other new dads are “use your time with your young children wisely to impart wisdom and education to them.”
Many people thought the Huxtables on “The Cosby Show,” from 1984-92, did not portray the “ordinary” Black family. Well, meet the Cheeks! Warren Cheeks Sr. and his wife Shirley have been married 35 years and have two adult children. They were intentional about creating a family tapestry so strong that the threads would be forever interwoven! Their oldest, Warren Jr. is 34, married and has four children. Their youngest, Whitney, is 30 and loving the single life!
Warren Jr. fathered his first child, Kamron, at the age of 23. While he and Kamron’s mother never married, Warren desired to be an active part of his son’s life. He admits that it was difficult fathering from a distance, and he regrets missing major milestones in his son’s life. However, he was committed to being a positive example in Kamron’s life to the best of his ability.
Five years ago, Warren married Malary who had a 6-month-old daughter, Trenidy. With a blended family, Warren took on the role of “Dad” to Trenidy while continuing to parent Kamron. While young Trenidy knows her biological father, it is Warren, Jr. who took her to her first Father/Daughter dance when she was in first grade and he is the face she looks for at her dance recitals.
I believe that “we live what we learn.” Warren, Jr., learned how important it is for fathers to “show up” by watching his dad. One of the earliest memories his sister has of their dad is of him being in the audience at her ballet and dance recitals. Whitney recalls how her dad would show up with flowers. He set the bar high for Whitney, just as Warren, Jr. is setting for Trenidy!
Black men make up 60% of the incarcerated population in Georgia. Frederic Green is one of those statistics. However, Frederic was determined not to let prison be his destiny.
He became a father at the age of 17 and was sentenced to prison shortly thereafter. His daughter was 3 when he was released. He was excited to be a dad and showed her off to all his friends. Over the next few years, he went to prison two more times and his girlfriend got pregnant each time he came home. When he was released from his last prison term, his children were 6 and 3 years old and 22 months.
Frederic decided to get his life together so he could take care of his family. Frederic ‘s girlfriend became his wife. They have now been married 21 years and the children are 26, 24, 21 and 18 years old, Frederic has his master’s degree in social work and is a respected, valuable asset to the Savannah community. He proved society wrong!
These four Black fathers are exemplary role models. They refuse to meander in mediocrity when it comes to fathering. The old saying, “mama’s baby, daddy’s maybe” doesn’t apply to them — nor does it apply to many Black fathers who are committed to the role of fathering.
Join me in saluting these valuable threads in the tapestry of our local community: Happy Father’s Day!
Maxine L. Bryant, Ph.D., is an assistant professor, Department of Criminal Justice & Criminology, and interim assistant director, Center for Africana Studies, at Georgia Southern University, Armstrong Campus. Contact her at 912-344-3602 or email dr.maxinebryant@gmail.com. See more columns by her at SavannahNow.com/lifestyle/.
This article originally appeared on Savannah Morning News: Black fathers are a significant thread in the tapestry of society
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