Opinion: Where are the grandparents?

While addressing a group at the state Capitol recently, Georgia Gov. Nathan Deal, in talking about child welfare, asked where were the “able-bodied” grandparents and extended family members of children under state authority.

Nearly 130,000 Georgia children know exactly where to find their grandparents, because they are being raised in their grandparents’ homes.

Parents often face difficulties that impact children’s lives. Job loss, military deployment, substance abuse, incarceration and parental death are some issues faced by families that can traumatize a child. If no family member is willing or able to care for these children, the state public child welfare system steps in.

However, in many cases – perhaps most – there is one family member who frequently steps in to care for these children: the grandparent.

When parents cannot raise their children, it has become standard practice to look for a grandparent to care for them. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, there are over 2.7 million grandparent-headed households in the U.S.. In Georgia, there are approximately 110,000 grandparents raising their grandchildren. They feed them, clothe them, provide a stable home environment for them, sit up with them when they are sick, cheer them on at school basketball games and ballet recitals. They do all the things parents should do with their children.

Indeed, many grandparents wish their family circumstances could have been different, but they step up to the plate and do what is necessary. As one grandparent noted, “I did not tell my daughter to take drugs or sell drugs. She made that decision on her own as an adult; it was a bad decision, the wrong decision. Now I have the responsibility to try to make sure my grandchild does not make a similar mistake – to give them a future.”

Grandparents assume this responsibility even when their circumstances are limited. Failing health, emotional stress and financial limitations can make their task overwhelming.

It is especially daunting if they are raising one or more children who are experiencing traumatic effects stemming from maltreatment or loss. Many grandchildren have physical and mental health problems, developmental delays or behavior issues. To address some of these needs, grandparents must learn how to navigate schools systems, mental health and child health clinics, public welfare offices and, sometimes, court systems.

Despite these circumstances, many grandparents would not think about giving up their grandchildren to the state or anyone else.

In the Atlanta community, there are a few programs to support these grandparents. One longstanding program at Georgia State University — Project Healthy Grandparents — has been assisting custodial grandparents for nearly 20 years. Social workers and registered nurses provide home-based case management plans. Grandparents receive legal referrals to address issues of custody or adoption.

Monthly support groups and parent education meetings give grandparents opportunities to meet others who face similar family stresses and learn about services and programs for their grandchildren. The group meetings are the one place grandparents know they will receive understanding as well as information. They share their family joys and sorrows, while learning to celebrate their lives and the lives of their grandchildren – their future legacy.

So where are the grandparents when parents cannot raise their children? Right where they need to be – raising their grandchildren.

Deborah M. Whitley is an associate professor of social work in the Andrew Young School of Policy Studies at Georgia State University and co-director of the National Research Center on Grandparents Raising Grandchildren.