I am routinely besieged by students who want me to bend some rule or extend a deadline because someone in their family has passed away. The funeral, or memorial service, or ash scattering off the coast of Jamaica must take precedence over everything else.
Tears have been shed in my office, which is why I always have a box of tissues at hand. As an English professor, I also have to read what my students write. But I digress.
Is it possible that some of these family tragedies are legitimate? Anything is possible. Hard drives do get fried. Internet connections are sometimes interrupted at the worst possible time. Bored canines will now and then turn a perfectly good assignment into a light afternoon snack.
And family members have been known to embark on their final journey just when term papers are coming due and final exams loom on the horizon.
But I’m always a little skeptical.
Rest assured that the faux family tragedy you may have invented to get an extension on a term paper will not land you in the eighth circle of Dante’s Hell. It is also true that any one of us might find himself lost in a dark wood, so to speak, with nary a Roman poet in sight to guide us on our perilous way. Difficult decisions must be made.
What could be more difficult than the decision to end the life of a loved one, even if only metaphorically, in order to spare further damage to your GPA?
In my experience, terminal cancer and heart attacks are the most commonly reported late semester deaths, although on occasion a brain tumor or liver disease will claim another victim.
Grandparents are typically the most vulnerable, and that of course stands to reason. They are old and not always in the best of health. They are also valuable emotional assets. Think of them in this regard as family VIPs.
What kind of grandchildren would fail to honor these worthies? Utterly thankless ones, especially if they also derive some of their tuition and living expenses from that family VIP. And what kind of professor would fail to understand that such deaths often occur across state lines if not out of the country?
More importantly, what kind of professor would fail to grant that term paper extension under such lamentable circumstances? Only one who for some reason is insensible to the plight of his grief-stricken students.
The fact that some students use death as an excuse is beyond question. It is also unseemly. Real grief is suffered in this world every day. Family bonds are severed in perpetuity. Graveside displays of profound loss are not for the fainthearted. In other words, death is serious business.
And by death, I am referring to that which actually occurs when a human being ceases to have what are known as vital signs.
So while the rigors and deadlines of fall semester are still one or two pool parties away, I ask college students everywhere to take a pledge. Instead of playing on the already frayed sympathies of your professors, tell them you could use a little more time on that term paper.
In short, do what you have been taught to do since you were old enough to understand the spoken word. Tell the truth. Your grandparents will thank you, and so will your professors.
Rick Diguette is a writer and teaches English at a local college.
