Walk to End Alzheimer’s
The annual Walk to End Alzheimer’s, taking place in various metro locations in September and October, raises awareness and money for Alzheimer’s care, support and research. For more information on how to participate as a walker or donor, or for more information on Alzheimer’s and resources g to: www.alz.org/georgia/.
Three years ago, when her husband started repeating himself and forgetting things, the last thing on Tammy Davis’s mind was dementia. Her husband, Mat, was only 51 after all and one of the smartest people she knew. “We had a young child and thought maybe it was sleep deprivation or maybe a brain tumor,” the Johns Creek resident says. After those and other possible causes were ruled out, doctors rendered a devastating diagnosis, cognitive degeneration, which could be Alzheimer’s or a related dementia, which can be definitively diagnosed only by autopsy. “It really doesn’t matter what it is — there is no treatment for any of them,” Davis says. “While there isn’t a way for us to fight this disease today, I am trying to make a change for other families, for my children.” Davis shares her experiences on her blog, findingthecenterblog.wordpress.com. She also raises money for research and plans to participate in one of the upcoming Walk to End Alzheimer’s events.
Q: Tell us about your husband.
A: He is a family man at heart and we are blessed to have him as a husband and father. Our son, Joshua, is your typical 5-year-old superhero loving, active boy. His dad is his superhero. The only time I have seen my husband cry or get emotional about his illness is when we talk about the kids. It makes him so sad to think that he most likely won't be here to see Joshua grow up or our 20-year-old, Asia, get married, and that he has to leave me to raise them on my own.
Q: How has dementia affected your husband?
A: He was in information technology but had to stop working in 2014 after he couldn't finish his assignments. He stopped driving but he is able to ride his bike. He is very limited in what he can do around the house and gets over-stimulated and agitated if there is too much going on, which is difficult since we have a 5-year-old. He still knows who we are.
Q: What did you think when you got the diagnosis?
A: I can't tell you exactly what I was thinking. We certainly weren't expecting it — I didn't even know you could get it at his age. While dementia is more prevalent in the elderly, I have learned that people can get it in their 40s, 50s, even 30s. One in three older people will die with dementia and, and with people living longer, it will affect all of us. Mat's mother battled Alzheimer's for many years and his aunt died after a long and ugly battle with dementia.
Q: How are you and the kids doing?
A: We know that Mat is dying and we feel like we are already losing him. Our ability to have deep conversations, for him to weigh in on issues related to the kids and our future, are gone. My 5-year-old doesn't ask any questions but my 20-year-old is having a hard time.
I am that sandwich generation person — I am caring for my children, my in-laws and now, my husband. I know it is going to be financially draining. I have gone through depression but done everything I have been told to do — get counseling, join a support group, stay active. I have this blog to help other people know they are not alone. I have to fight every day to be strong for my family.
But people with the disease say, “We don’t want to just die with Alzheimer’s, we want to live as well as we can with it.” We are fighting every day to figure out how to do that, how to adapt and adjust so that we can continue to live life to the fullest, to find hope and joy in spite of our circumstances.
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