Monday is opening day for the Braves as they kick off the baseball season. Baseball is by far my favorite sport. I love everything about the game, including the unwritten rules, that so often dictate what happens in a game.
Some of these rules include: don’t’ steal bases when you have a big lead; don’t bunt to try and break up a no-hitter; don’t admire your homerun too long in the batter’s box.
Like the baseball community, the traffic world in Atlanta also has many unwritten rules. In honor of the Braves returning to action and their historic run of 14 consecutive division titles, I present to you, 14 unwritten rules of Atlanta traffic.
— Usually the best rush hour of the week is Friday morning, and the worst rush hour of the week is Friday evening.
— Turn signals, despite what the law says, are optional in metro Atlanta.
— Don’t ever buy a ladder at a hardware store. You can find plenty of them on Interstate 285.
— We have two types of sunshine delays. One when people drive into the sunshine, and one when they drive away from the sunshine and it reflects in their rear-view mirrors.
— Seven percent of drivers in the exact change lane at the Ga. 400 tolls are required to not have exact change. Please plan accordingly.
— You must slow down to look at a crash on the interstate, even if it’s on the other side of the freeway and it in no way will impact your drive.
— Texting and driving is against the law, unless it’s really important, or if you hold your phone in your lap so the police can’t see.
— Interstates 75, 85 and 20 each cross Interstate 285 twice. Non-WSB traffic reporters do not seem to know this, so you’ll often have to guess what side of town they are talking about.
— The right lanes on Interstate 75/85/south bbound approaching Interstate 20 are always delayed. If they are ever not delayed, it’s time to panic. The apocalypse is upon us.
— If you are driving less than 90 mph in the fast lane, it is legal for frustrated motorists either shot you or knock you into the wall.
— Every street in Atlanta is required to have at least two metal plates covering up potholes.
— You never, ever, under any circumstances, need to let someone merge in front of you on the road. It’s their own fault they are not in front of you already.
— If you are involved in a minor fender bender, you are required to NOT move your car off to the side of the roadway for at least 90 minutes.
— When heading to watch the Braves at home, make sure you take the MARTA train directly to Turner Field. It drops you off right at the front gate.
