Like many communication tools, social media is used very differently by teens than adults.
Certain channels appeal more to youth (Instagram, SnapChat, Twitter) and others more to parents (Facebook). The challenge for parents trying to keep up is that by the time they know about a social media channel and start using it, their teens have moved on to the next one. So how can parents help their children use social media effectively and stay safe online?
In my role, I educate students to use social media to their advantage and make them aware of the potential dangers that exist online. Ideally, teens will be hearing the same message from their parents, too. The good news is, you don’t have to know about every new app or messaging service, you just need to equip your children to make good choices.
Common Sense. First and foremost, reinforce common sense. We've all heard that an adolescent's brain is still developing. They are less able to control impulses or fully understand potential outcomes or ramifications. The stereotype of a moody, compulsive, reckless teen is often over-played in popular culture, but there is an underlying truth to the image, even if you think it would never be your child. It's up to parents to help teens understand risks. What seems like common sense to grown-ups might not be so obvious to your pre-teen or teen.
Simply put: do not post anything on any social media platforms that you wouldn’t want your grandmother, HR manager or future boss to see. A teen might tell you it’s important for her tweets to be public so that the famous actor she’s tweeting can respond to her messages. She has no idea that the cute, famous boy has a team of publicists handling social media for him. Explain to your child or teen that what they see on social media is not always reality.
Take the opportunity to teach about what media is. The pervasiveness of social media in 2016 makes it a great sounding board to talk to your child about media influence. Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter have all made advertising on social media mainstream and virtually undetectable. Teach your teen to look for the "sponsored" tag next to ads in order to discern what is authentic messaging and what is paid placement.
Be aware of social media’s influence on self esteem. The popularity and ease of photo editing and airbrushing apps, a teen’s fear of missing out (FOMO), and the rise of product-driven videos (“haul videos”) can have a damaging effect on the self-esteem of teenagers who have a harder time separating fact from fiction. The “likes” game on Instagram is an all-too popular way of measuring social standing. If teens begin to measure their self-worth through social media interactions they may begin a trip down a dangerous, slippery slope to get “likes.”
Post Positive. From teens applying to colleges to young adults seeking that next upward career move, take the time to utilize social media to show your "best self."
• Post about your goals, aspirations, volunteer efforts, community activities. Build a digital portfolio that highlights your talents, achievements and professional accomplishments.
• Avoid trashing anything or anyone, but especially your place of employment, employers or authority figures. Avoid insults, whining or trash talking — even in jest. Tone is hard to translate through text.
• Use hashtags to your benefit. Find people or companies that share your interests and passions.
Monitoring Your Child Online. Do not assume it will be a one-time conversation. There are new social media apps trending all the time.
• Ask your children what apps they use and what they like about them. Use this as a platform to have a larger conversation about social media and the effect it can have on someone’s reputation in the present, as well as the future.
• Monitor their texts.
• Make sure you know the passwords to all of their social media accounts.
• Use online search tools to learn the latest trends in teen communication and get familiar with them. Mashable and Common Sense Media are two great sources.
• Be mindful of new apps that hide photos and messages that children may not want their parents to see (sometimes hidden behind innocuous apps like the calculator). These apps are numerous, but Calculator + and Smart Hide Calculator are two more popular ones.
Remind your children constantly that what is posted online stays online, somewhere, somehow, forever. Most importantly, remember that your need to protect your children online outweighs their desire for privacy.
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