Dear Jenny: Over the past few years, I've developed serious claustrophobia. As a result, I often find myself going out of my way not to be squished in small spaces, inconveniencing myself and others to avoid things like cramped public transportation and elevators. And it seems like it's only getting worse. Do you have any tips for getting over irrational fears? -- Mandy, Washington, D.C.
Jenny says: It's only natural to want to avoid situations or things that make you feel fear. However, if you want to conquer your phobia, facing your fear head-on is the only way to do it. While avoidance of small spaces may make you feel better in the short term, in the long term it robs you of the opportunity to establish any coping skills. As time goes on, the more you go out of your way to steer clear of elevators or cramped spaces, the more your phobia will take a hold of you. It will become increasingly scarier and more daunting in your mind.
I'm not a psychologist, but I have faced fears before, and here's what I would say: The key to overcoming your irrational fears is to gradually and repeatedly expose yourself to what you fear -- but in a safe and controlled way. Relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing and meditation, can improve your ability to control the physical symptoms of anxiety and fear. Being able to calm yourself will help you tolerate being in small, closed-in spaces. You will become confident in your ability to manage uncomfortable feelings, such as a racing heart or suffocating sensations. It's also helpful to come up with positive coping statements that you can tell yourself when facing your phobia. Try telling yourself things like, "I've felt this way before, and nothing terrible happened. It feels uncomfortable, but I survived." If you have strategies in place, and you slowly but surely expose yourself to small spaces, soon the anxiety and fear you have associated with those experiences will diminish. Good luck -- you can do it!
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