Statistics show that roughly 62% of Americans make a New Year’s resolution or two at some point in their lives. Sadly, a study out of the University of Scranton suggests that a paltry 8% of us are successful at meeting our resolution goals.
Since compliance with resolutions is obviously dreadful, we sat down with Patti Barrett Webb, LCSW in private practice at Suwanee Counseling Services to get some pointers on how to be successful in achieving our goals.
Webb has 30 years of experience and specializes in individual, couples and family therapy. Her areas of expertise include addiction and recovery, anxiety, depression, ADHD and management of health and wellness. Webb is also the author of the acclaimed children’s book, Rosie’s Story that explores issues of death and loss.
Pulse: What are some of the most popular resolutions every year?
Webb: There are many resolutions that people make, but the most popular is to lose weight. Along with this is a line of many including to quit drinking, stop spending money, stop gambling, stop fighting with partner/family, be more charitable, and go to church and/or be more spiritual.
Pulse: Do you have any insight on the difficulty of keeping these resolutions?
Webb: To begin with, most of us have very unrealistic expectations of ourselves and many times, other people. We get sucked into the advertisements of great dreams and promises only to be disappointed a few weeks/months later.
Just look at the ads before and after Christmas. We all want that ideal world. Unfortunately, that is not real life. We need to look at life realistically rather than idealistically. Don’t let media and celebrity dictate your life.
Pulse : What are some good tips for being successful at keeping your New Year’s resolutions?
Webb: Things they have been saying in the 12-step community for years, “easy does it” and “keep it simple.”
Basically, “lower your expectations.”
This is something I tell my clients all through the year. I am met with shock and bewilderment most of the time. However, when I explain the concept of it, people start to understand. No one can have the perfect family, spouse, job, body, etc. Some are born with what seems to be the perfect metabolism but struggle with family conflicts. Many have great relationships but are stuck at a job without promise. The list goes on and on. We have challenges.
Pulse : What are some good strategies for making achievable resolutions?
Webb: The best strategies for making good resolutions are to to start by being realistic. I watched an episode of Dr. Oz a few months ago where he asked women to pick three out of nine things they could do to make healthier changes in their lives. This was profound as it was not a total restrictive and punitive approach to life but rather an inclusive and healthy change to a lifestyle.
Start by eliminating the deprivation and punishment approach to life with a more inclusive and rewarding habits. Examples may include adding more water to your daily consumption of beverages, including more fruit in the diet, five minutes of walking, etc. Look at this as a new beginning and always discuss changes with your doctor.
Pulse : Can you offer any tips for making positive changes in your life throughout the year?
Webb: Unfortunately, we are living in difficult times and I see many of my clients struggling in a place of fear and reactivity. The overload of news and information — on top of our daily commitments and challenges — leads us to feel desperate and out of control.
The most important thing I tell my clients is that we, as humans, are not geared for 24 hour exposure to traumatic news. As a trauma specialist, I tell clients to limit their exposure to any toxic energy including the amount of time they spend watching television, or with difficult family members where they are in a state of “fight or flight.” Research continues to show the effects of this on our health both psychologically and physically.
Instead, look at what you can do. You may not be able to stop the chatter of negativity in the news, but you can send a contribution to a favorite cause, donate some time or look at ways you can help a neighbor or better your community. It is also not selfish to begin by taking care of yourself with small steps. This is the beginning of change for the better for you…which will lead to the betterment of us all.
