Life after 'American Idol': Simon Cowell's debut on 'AGT,' Carrie Underwood, Justin Guarini

To a dude with his dancing dog: “I actually think the dog likes dancing!”

To clairvoyants, who pull off an impressive display: “You have magic powers!”

To an acapella group, he is "relatively" rough: "I thought the first half of the song was okay, then you picked it up in the middle... it was sensational."

Simon couldn't even bring the daggers out for a joke act - a Spice Girls drag group that couldn't dance particularly well. Or sing.

He opted for sarcasm in front of Mel B: "Can I be honest? In my opinion, that was better than the original." He Xed them, then gave them a yes, anyway.

The producers did purposely plant such a dumb act (a dude jumping into a plastic pool full of shaving cream) that Simon does walk out in "disgust" after saying it was the "worst thing I've ever seen on 'America's Got Talent.' "

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Carrie Underwood shows off her incredible bod on the cover of Us magazine.

Behold:

Credit: Rodney Ho

Credit: Rodney Ho

The effusive story notes that she "defies the laws of physiques." It notes her exercise regime includes heavy metal (Disturbed, Avenged Sevenfold) on Spotify while doing pull-ups and squats six times a week in her touring gym. "I feel much better now at 33 than I did when I was 20 because I take better care of myself,' she said.

Breakfast is her biggest meal while dinner is exclusively protein and veggies. She also tries to stay vegan but will eat a good dessert with butter.

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Justin Guarini got to do some new Diet Dr. Pepper commericals as "Lil Sweet."(He debuted the character last year.) Some folks compare it a bit to Prince. 

And Constantine Maroulis does a soap goof with Brooke Shields for La-Z Boy: