America loves guns so much you can barely claim to be masculine without carrying a gun carry permit.
My wife refused to get hitched to a man without one, which is so common a matrimonial requirement DeKalb let me sign up for a marriage license and carry permit in the same room. To complete the carry permit I had to trudge down to an office near the jail and get fingerprinted. To get married all you have to provide is cash and a promise you aren't marrying your sister.
At the jail I was pleased to meet several women lining up for a DeKalb stripper license. Despite taking numerous photos of the ladies my wife still married me.
More people want to carry a gun around in public than get married. I spoke to a DeKalb probate court spokesperson and she told me in the last two months about 800 people signed up for marriage licenses. More than 2,500 had sought carry permits.
Do more people want to get naked in public than carry guns in public? Sadly, the DeKalb office that keeps stripper records was closed Friday. The officers are probably at Strokers checking permits.
Since gun carry permits are so popular, one must assume the government will try to stop it.
Sure enough, a federal court ruled recently that most Americans are not entitled to carry a gun in public . The ruling -- which allows local police to place significant restrictions on who is allowed to carry guns -- will likely be appealed all the way to the Supreme Court.
I've never toted a gun around in any city, but folks who drive trucks that never leave pavement seem to get a kick out of it.
It's also popular with folks who can't call the police and wait for them to handle things.
In Louisiana, where I spent many a swampy summer, a "legally-armed citizen" will not be charged in the April 4 shooting death of an angry gas station store customer.
The armed man pulled his gun and retreated back into the store. The agitated man could have left, but instead he entered the store again and tussled with the man with the gun. During the skirmish, Breland was shot three times and died.
At no point did the clerk or the concerned gun enthusiast bother to call police.
Mandeville Police Chief Rick Richard said the shooter was lawfully carrying a firearm in plain view. "Louisiana is an open-carry state. The guy was straight-up legal," Richard said.
Legal yes, but shouldn't people who have time to walk to a parking lot and write down a tag number be required to call the police before they kill someone?
Who was Shawn Breland? According to various reports he was a military veteran and father of five. A GoFundMe page raised only $400 for his family.
Who was the shooter? Police won't tell us but the shirt he's wearing when he shot Breland says "firearms instructor."
If you give someone a hammer, lots of things start looking like nails. Something similar happens when you give some men a gun.