Prop bettor’s lament: Hurry up, Gladys, sing faster, I took the under

Believe it or not, if the fellow in the middle wears a hat at halftime of the Super Bowl, a gambler somewhere will get his wings.

Credit: Kevin Winter

Credit: Kevin Winter

Believe it or not, if the fellow in the middle wears a hat at halftime of the Super Bowl, a gambler somewhere will get his wings.

The Super Bowl is in charge of all things silly. Therefore, it must be the lord and master of the prop bet.

Those who wish a deep dive into the tortured imagination of the gambling mind, may we recommend the web site belonging to BetDSI. For there is listed a truly astonishing assortment of ways to bet on Sunday's Super Bowl at Mercedes-Benz Stadium. If, that is, you happen to be somewhere that betting is legal.

As one sports book honcho told Yahoo Sports, “People love betting on props. ... Betting on the coin toss is the American way.”

As you might suspect, heads or tails is something of a 50-50 proposition.

Get your stopwatches ready for this one: The over-under on the length of Gladys Knight’s rendition of the national anthem is 107 seconds.

And, yes, there is a line on whether any player will take a knee during that singing – you can get 4-to-1 on yes. But only 2-to-1 on a player raising a fist. The reward is much less on “no” to either.

Prop bets, you see are more than frivolous side wagers. They can be a rather sharp reflection on the current issues in sports and society – with the addition of a little earning potential.

Will any halftime performer wear a Colin Kaepernick jersey? You can get better than 2-to-1 if you think so. “No” is listed as minus-300 (your return would be three times less than the bet).

Will the winning team visit the White House? Given the current climate, yes is the slight favorite.

Will the NFL issue an official admission that its refs the missed a called during the Super Bowl? The evidence of a week ago in New Orleans aside, oddsmakers make it more than 3-to-1 that the league won’t.

Or, such prop bets can just be goofy. The Super Bowl has inspired a vast wonderland wagers – ones that typically attract high interest but small amounts of money. If only this kind of imagination could be applied to real-world issues.

You can get a line on the color of the drink that will be dumped over the head of the winning coach. Colorless/water is the 2-to-1 favorite. Purple is a 10-to-1 longshot.

You can get 6-to-1 on Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski announcing on air after the game that he’ll retire. It’s 12-to-1 for his quarterback, Tom Brady, who has said it’s pretty much his intention to play until the sun dies. And it’s 25-to-1 for their coach, Bill Belichick.

The over-under for the number of Clydesdales that will appear during the Super Bowl commercials is 8.5.

On the burning question of whether Maroon Five’s Adam Levine will or will not wear a hat during the halftime show, yes is the slight favorite.

There is a bet as to which will be higher on Super Bowl Sunday, the number of Phil Mickelson birdies at the Waste Management Open (if he makes the cut) or Julian Edelman receptions.

You might bet on which former Georgia running back – the Patriots’ Sony Michel or the Rams’ Todd Gurley – rushes for more yards. Or who will air a commercial first, Coke or Pepsi.

Heaven help us there is even a bet on whether any player will have to be held out of the game with a concussion. To anyone who bets on that, may you lose. I have a hunch you’re used to that.