‘Maycember’ survival guide: Tips for overwhelmed parents
If you’re a parent, the steady stream of school emails, reminders and calendar invites is nothing new. But then May arrives … and something shifts. Suddenly, the stakes feel higher than gas prices.
This increase in utter chaos has been coined “Maycember” — December’s nonstop cousin that refuses to take “no” for an answer. With field days, end-of-year parties, graduation, dance recitals, championship games, summer camp registration, teacher appreciation gifts and the endless sign-up sheets, it can feel like a sprint to the finish line, i.e., the last day of school.
“Parents often tell me May feels more intense than winter holidays because, at least in December, you get time off work and an expectation of slowing down. May expects you to sprint and smile at the same time,” said Katy Huie Harrison, Ph.D., Atlanta-based parenting expert and founder of Undefining Motherhood.
“We live in a society that’s turned overwhelm into a badge of honor. Just this morning, I asked three people how they were doing, and all responded with something like, ‘Oh, you know, it’s May.’”
Believe it or not, there are ways to ease the added stress this time of year can bring, let go of the guilt, and even enjoy the temporary downpour.
‘Tis the season for burnout
For parents already juggling a full-time job, May can feel like taking on a second shift. Not just doing the work, but constantly anticipating what’s needed, planning ahead and executing it all on an invisible spreadsheet. And that can take a toll.
“During this time, parents are basically running on empty,” Harrison said. “With so many tasks spinning in their brains, they often have disrupted sleep, which leads to irritability, being more easily overwhelmed and that wired-but-tired feeling that’ll lead to an inevitable crash.”
According to the parenting expert, one of the most important ways to navigate “Maycember” is to give yourself grace. The pressure to keep every schedule straight, show up for every event and remember every last detail can quickly fuel feelings of guilt. When you stop expecting perfection, you can recognize that this season is demanding for nearly everyone.
“We often feel like we’re alone in the overload, but actually, most parents feel it,” she shared. “Everyone misses a performance, forgets a field day, or doesn’t sign a form at some point. Being aware of this can help soften some of the guilt. Parents aren’t failing; the system is failing them.”
Part of surviving this busy season is recognizing that not every invitation or event has to make the family calendar, and that rule can be followed year-round. Missing a moment or dropping a ball occasionally does not make you a bad parent. (Read that again, if you need to.)
While many parents feel pressure to say yes to everything so their kids don’t miss out, experts say it’s equally important to protect time for rest and recovery. It also provides a teachable moment: You don’t have to say “yes” to everything to belong.
“Talking to kids about skipping events can actually be a great lesson in boundary setting,” said Harrison. She encourages parents to allow their children to choose from the bunch, acknowledging the need for rest so the whole family isn’t exhausted.
It’s time to shift your mindset
It’s easy to slip into survival mode, but small shifts in mindset and routine can make this stretch feel less overwhelming. To help make the month and the upcoming summer break more manageable, Harrison offers four suggestions:
1. Do what matters most. Instead of doing it all, ask yourself, “What will my child actually remember or benefit from?” The expert says to start shrinking your list accordingly.
2. Adjust expectations. You don’t need a Pinterest-worthy gift for your child’s teacher — or that upcoming birthday party you forgot about. While it’s a sweet gesture, a gift card for adults is always appreciated.
3. Lean on your village when you can. Whether it’s a partner, family member, friend or fellow parent, sharing responsibilities can help lighten the load. One might handle teacher gifts while another manages team uniforms or rides.
4. Good enough is good enough. You might visit the drive-thru for dinner more often, and the house may be messier. It’s OK. Find breaks where you can.
While the month is often packed with meaningful milestones and celebrations, give yourself permission to simplify and fully embrace this time with your family. After all, the kids are growing up, and so are you.
“Realize we’re all struggling right now,” said Harrison. “You’re not alone, and you don’t have to do it perfectly.”
