You can tell yourself you’re going to use your gym membership more, stop scrolling social media just before bed or meditate for 20 minutes every day, but let’s be honest. Those are exactly the kinds of resolutions that last for about three weeks in January before you slip back into old habits. (For what it’s worth, my permanent resolution is to go to bed earlier. Twenty years of making this resolution, and it hasn’t happened yet.)
For those of you who are ready to dip your toe back into the online dating pool — or those who are slacking when it comes to checking your Bumble app — let’s focus on a goal that’s much more specific and will give your profile an extra pop heading into the new year.
Here are a few ideas to make 2023 your year for real connections:
Update your profile photos
While it would be wonderful for people to date based solely on their personalities and passions, you’d be kidding yourself if you don’t think people take photos into consideration when online dating. If you’re one of those people who has photos that are more than a year or two old, this resolution is for you. Spend a few hours with either a professional photographer or a friend who always has the best Instagram posts taking new pictures for your profile. You can get a little dressed up, show off your smile, and give your profile a refresh. Just remember: No sunglasses or hats, especially in that first picture; we want to see you.
Give your bio a refresh
Writing about yourself is no easy task. It’s difficult to walk the line between bragging and sounding like you have nothing interesting to say. You can seek professional help with the profile, or you can spend a morning dedicated to summarizing yourself into a few paragraphs (and perfecting the grammar). When you think you have something that will work, show a trusted friend and get their opinion. They might have some proofreading notes, and they could even have some ideas to add.
Dedicate time every day
Whether it’s when you first wake up in the morning, on a lunch break or winding down after dinner, set a time each day for online dating. It can be just 15 minutes, but you’ll want to spend the time responding to messages, browsing other profiles for potential matches and reaching out to start conversations. This way, you’ll get into a habit and never miss out on a good match because you took too long to reply.
Forget about your ‘type’
One problem with online dating is you can make a judgment (and be judged) far too quickly. Some people have a list of “requirements” they’re looking for in a partner, which can really limit the chance of connecting with someone.
Say you’re a runner and you’re looking for someone who is also physically active. You might pass on a profile where someone presents themselves as more artistic. However, you might just want to start a conversation and see how it goes. Maybe they’re actually a runner, too, but they just didn’t mention it on their profile because there’s only so much space. Or maybe you don’t need to be with a runner at all. Variety is the spice of life, as they say.
Likewise, don’t swipe left on a profile if there’s just one thing you’re not quite sure about. Maybe they have a bachelor’s degree and you’ve always preferred partners with advanced degrees. That doesn’t mean they’re not successful or intelligent. Try starting more conversations with people who are in the “maybe” category. You never know where it will lead.
Online dating can be tough and uncomfortable, but the key is to put yourself out there. In 2023, keeping an open mind and putting some extra effort into your profile will put you in a great position to meet someone special.
Erika Ettin is the founder of A Little Nudge, where she helps others navigate the often intimidating world of online dating.
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