It’s time to ask yourself the tough questions
Sometimes you have to take stock of your life, even if you don’t want to. And often it’s not planned; you just started thinking about where you are and comparing it to where you thought you’d be.
It’s a normal thing to do, and it can be difficult.
Unfortunately, when we don’t give ourselves the chance to process our emotions, they don’t disappear — they build up. Over time, that can lead to lingering sadness, avoidance, or even unhealthy coping habits.
When you are compelled to ask yourself if you are green and growing or ripe and rotting, take it as a sign. It may be time to move your life forward.
Even if you think you’re satisfied with where you are — or feel that you don’t deserve anything better — there’s value in taking stock of your life and asking yourself the hard questions. That honest reflection is often what leads to growth.
This is also an exercise that you may want to do in your primary relationship. Comparing where you were with where you are now will help lead you to where you want to go. Seems simple enough, but most couples only do it in passing instead of sitting down and having a positive conversation about life, love, and their own pursuit of happiness. We rarely give ourselves the opportunity to take a serious look at our lives, and that process can only make things better, because you will always find things to improve.
In case you don’t have any questions handy, here are a few to get started:
- Are you happy with your life right now? If not, what can you do to make it better?
- Do you have any regrets? If so, what are they?
- Are you the person you wanted to be? If not, what can you do to get there?
Whatever your answers, remember that you are in charge, and self-knowledge is empowering. You may be tempted to blame others for where you are, but you are still the only one who can change your life for the better. That truth isn’t always easy to accept. The longer you believe someone else is holding you back, the longer you delay your own progress. And sadly, some people never move beyond that.
Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., is an award-winning psychotherapist and humanitarian. He is also a columnist, the author of eight books and a blogger for PsychologyToday.com with nearly 35 million readers. He is available for in-person and video consults worldwide, reach him at Barton@BartonGoldsmith.com.