How to make the holidays wonderful, even if you don’t feel it

Not every holiday season can be merry and bright. Perhaps you have recently lost a loved one, or your relationship is a little rocky. Money may be an issue, which is sad because the only thing better than getting presents is buying them for those you love.

Whatever the cause, if you don’t have that spirit of the season inside of you, it’s OK.

I’ve had tough holidays — and too many spent alone. But it’s better to be on your own than with someone who isn’t right for you . The trick to a great holiday is spending it with people who make you feel good. Now I know I just said that doing it alone is OK, but if you want to actually feel some joy and have a laugh or two, get with some folks who get you and make some holiday cheer.

If money is an issue, start by thinking of what you would do if you could afford to do anything. Then, figure out a way to give yourself some small part of it. For example, if you’ve always wanted to go to Italy but don’t have money for the hotel and the airfare, buy a bottle of Italian wine and make some pasta. If you’re up for it, try your hand at more complicated Italian dishes. Watch a video on how the holidays are celebrated in Italy and let it inspire you.

If friends and family are unavailable, volunteer to help feed the homeless or help out at your local assisted living community. Doing something for others could spoil this bad mood you’ve been fighting. Trust me, nurturing others is good for your mind and spirit. Negative energy is out there for the taking, and it won’t be hard to find. But you can choose not to look for it, at least for a little while, and let a little joy in.

The holidays are almost always better with some human interaction. Wherever you need to go to find it, I suggest that you do. Many times, I’ve loaded up my sled and dropped gifts to friends, just staying a little while before going to the next person’s house. By the time I get home, I’m ready for a movie and some quiet time. If you are alone and don’t want to be, this activity will help you sleep more peacefully at night.

If you’re not feeling the holiday spirit this year, trying one small action from the above can make a difference. However you choose to do it, reaching out to other people can bring a little light back into the season.