How Kandi Burruss captures her divorce pain in an intimate one-woman show

After a nearly a year of heartbreak, when no one would fault her for taking time away from work, Kandi Burruss remains the personification of “booked and busy.”

In fact, she sees her work as a partial cure to her pain.

Last year, the Atlanta singer, producer and “Real Housewives Atlanta” alumna filed for divorce (which was finalized in March) from husband Todd Tucker after 11 years of marriage (the pair share two children: Ace, 10, and Blaze, 6).

News of their split ricocheted across social media time lines — inciting incessant commentary and rumors.

It also served as the inspiration for Burruss’ next act: a one-woman show.

“When I’m going through something, I’m not great at always communicating well, but I deliver how I feel through my creativity,” Burruss told The Atlanta Journal-Constitution. She also created the 2013 play “A Mother’s Love” and the 2019 burlesque show “Welcome to the Dungeon” in response to personal drama.

The new production, titled “I Do. I Did. I’m Done,” debuted to a sold-out crowd at Atlanta’s City Winery last month. Nine more dates across the country have been added, including a second Atlanta show at Buckhead Theatre on Wednesday.

Kandi Burruss' one-woman show “I Do. I Did. I’m Done,” debuted to a sold-out crowd at Atlanta’s City Winery in April. (Arvin Temkar/AJC)

At the City Winery show, Burruss mainly performed her vast musical discography for one hour (both as a soloist and a Grammy-winning songwriter) while chronicling the ebbs and flows of her relationship. She even debuted an unreleased song, “I Love Me Too Much.” During short breaks, she weaved her indelible “Housewives” one-liners (“Who said that?”) with clips of bloggers talking about her high-profile divorce.

There was also unreleased footage of an emotional Burruss sharing her dating fears, clips she said were filmed immediately after her breakup. Shortly after, she revealed the highly coveted reason for the demise of her marriage: Tucker’s alleged infidelity.

But, for Burruss, leaving the marriage was more about how passive Tucker became following the infidelity, which she said happened in July (Tucker didn’t respond to The Atlanta Journal-Constitution’s request for comment).

“When you’re in a marriage, a lot of times you let a lot slide because you want your marriage to work,” said Burruss, who’s also a producer of the recent Broadway revival of “Joe Turner’s Come and Gone.” “For me, when I feel like the respect was not there and when a person don’t really feel bad for what they did or apologize for what they did, it’s like that means they’re going to keep doing it.”

Regarding her future dating life, Burruss is keeping her options open. But, like the details divulged in her show, she’s doing things on her own terms now.

“At some point, I might have to take a pause and be like, ‘What do I want to do next?,’” the 49-year-old said. “Do I care to date? Do I just want to have a maintenance person? I don’t even know if I know what I really want right now. I’m not gonna put the pressure on myself to make a decision.”

The AJC talked to Burruss about her new one-woman show and navigating life after divorce.

This Q&A has been edited and condensed for clarity

Kandi Burruss said she's staying busy after her divorce from Todd Tucker, filling up her schedule on the weeks she doesn't have her children. (Arvin Temkar/AJC)

Q: How long have you been working on this show?

A: I knew I was going to do it before the divorce was final. Don Juan, my (general manager) for my company, had been talking to the people at City Winery about (me) doing something fun and intimate with them. And so he brought it to me, and I was just kind of like, Yeah, this is what I want. (In) February-ish, I confirmed to them that I would do the show.

Q: Then one show expanded into several shows.

A: I was not planning for a tour, but the love and the support has been real. When we put the show up for the Atlanta City Winery show, it sold out immediately. I didn’t even tell my friends I was doing it. I didn’t tell anybody. By the time they found out, the tickets were gone, and they was like, “Why didn’t you tell us?” City Winery was asking me about doing a couple more dates, and then a couple other venues that weren’t part of the City Winery group started hitting us up. I was honored. Then, I was trying to figure out, well, how am I going to make it all work? … It’s kind of like that weird thing of trying to juggle so many things at the same time, but at the same time, I love what I do.

Q: How are you balancing everything?

A: It’s so crazy. When I stopped doing “Housewives,” I really thought that I was gonna get more relaxation time. I feel like I’m working more now than I was before. The crazy thing about divorce and trying to plan your life, it’s like some of it is getting planned for me because now with a parenting plan, you gotta switch (with) one week on, one week off. I live by a schedule. The time that they’re at their dad’s house, then I’m gonna load them days up (with work), and then the days they’re with me, then I’m going to chill more or keep the schedule within the hours that they got to go to camp or they got to go to school. I think it’s gonna kind of help me figure out my life a little bit better.

The divorce of Todd Tucker (left) and Kandi Burruss was started last year and finalized in March. (Amy Sussman/E! Entertainment 2019)

Q: In the show, you reveal Todd’s infidelity led to the divorce. How are you healing from that?

A: I stay busy (starts to cry, then asks for a few minutes to recover). … I’m not healed. I don’t like to talk about stuff, because I don’t like to be emotional. I don’t like to be sad. I like to live into the positive. Lean into the fun. With that being said, I stay busy. Because if you stay busy, then you ain’t got time to be sad. On top of that, I’ve been leaning into trying to have more fun, planning more trips, like the other day, I booked myself a trip to just fly all the way to London just to see Cynthia Erivo in (the one-woman play) “Dracula.”

Q: You turn 50 this month. What would you tell your 40-year-old self?

A: In all fairness, I don’t have any regrets. I don’t have no regrets about my marriage. I feel like we had a good marriage. It was great while it was great. I don’t have any negative thing to say about my marriage or Todd, really. I just feel like it just didn’t work.

Q: Divorce can be empowering in a way, when women choose to leave a situation that no longer serves them.

A: I’ve always been that woman. I’m a child of divorce. Both my parents have been married multiple times, so I didn’t really have a high view on marriage prior to, and I never believed in wasting a lot of time in the situation. I didn’t even date that many people longer than two years because I feel like you can see if you can really get along with a person in the first six to eight months, for real.

I do believe that in (heterosexual) marriages, women do pour a lot into it. Meaning, especially if you are a woman who works as well, you pour into the kids, you pour into the household, you pour into your husband. And a lot of times, they don’t really see your value until after.

Q: In the comments of a recent Instagram post promoting your show, Todd said you were exploiting the relationship. What were your thoughts on that?

A: When you do something to someone, you cannot dictate how they react to the situation. You can’t tell me, “Oh, well, we’re just supposed to argue it out and you get over it.” You can’t tell me that. You don’t get to say how I’m supposed to move in this situation.

After 11 years of marriage, Kandi Burruss says she is trying to get comfortable living solo and isn't sure she's ready to start dating again. (Arvin Temkar/AJC)

Q: There’s a line from the show where you say, “The pain had a rhythm and she learned the beat.” What’s the beat you’re learning now?

A: I‘m just learning how I want to move as a solo person. Todd and I did everything together. We did businesses together (Burruss shared that the three restaurants they co-owned are now closed). We traveled everywhere together. Now, when I go places, I feel like, what am I like? How am I moving?

Q: You’ve said every stop of “I Do. I Did. I’m Done.” will be different. What else can people expect?