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Does this device really check your performance in the bathroom?

How well we are doing our business in the bathroom? Do we really care? Photo: courtesy Quilted Northern
How well we are doing our business in the bathroom? Do we really care? Photo: courtesy Quilted Northern
By Bo Emerson
March 30, 2017

Americans use wearable computers to count their steps, track their calories and monitor their sleep.

What about recording their activities in the bathroom?

Quilted Northern, the toilet paper company (and a part of Atlanta-based Georgia Pacific) is talking about a new device to do just that.

Called the uSit, Quilted Northern says its “the world’s first biometric tracking device designed to record and remember bathroom events.”

A device that keeps track of our activities on the throne. Just what we needed. Photo: courtesy Quilted Northern
A device that keeps track of our activities on the throne. Just what we needed. Photo: courtesy Quilted Northern

The new belt-like device, says a press release, “will allow users to track all of their bathroom activity from any personal mobile device (including duration, frequency and exertion levels), share progress on social media and face off against friends and family in healthy competitions.”

“While we may not be thought of as a tech brand, we do know a few things about what happens in the bathroom,” said Jason Ippen, brand director.

Important reminder: before you think Quilted Northern has lost its mind, reflect on the timing of the company's announcement, which rolls out on April Fool's day. It's also wise to remember last April 1, when Quilted Northern introduced "artisanal" toilet paper, with "craft you feel in every square."

Confused? Check the video. You will probably understand.

About the Author

Bo Emerson is an Atlanta native and a long-time AJC feature and news writer.

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