The Win Column: More mediocrity, please

Baseball is blooming again, dearhearts.

And while Braves country got some extremely non-chill news about Spencer Schwellenbach right out of the gate, we’re not letting anything kill the springtime vibes.

Not even an overachiever or three.

MAYBE TAKE A BREATHER, GUYS

Broadcasting star Maria Taylor (clockwise from left), NFL MVP Matthew Stafford and Super Bowl-winning coach Mike Macdonald.

I am a 38-year-old product of the University of Georgia.

Unfortunately, Matthew Stafford, Maria Taylor and Mike Macdonald are as well.

And while I’m not generally one to complain … perhaps they could pump the breaks a bit?

😬 They’re really making the rest of us look bad.

While Stafford and his lovely little daughters sauntered onto the stage to accept an NFL MVP award last week, some of us were in a cramped Decatur gym rooting on their 10-year-old’s basketball team. (Go Lightning Hawks.)

While Taylor, NBC’s superhost, was taking a break from roundball-rockin’ to lead a marathon Super Bowl pregame show, some of us were fumigating their houses with Lysol and hoping their sick 6-year-old was finally done vomiting (she was not).

Several hours later, when Taylor was handing the Lombardi Trophy to Macdonald, the champion Seahawks coach (and her former high school classmate), some of us were … well, three or four beers deep and three-fourths asleep.

😬 Not a bad little life. But glitz? Glamour? Glory?

Decidedly absent.

All of us — Stafford, Taylor, Macdonald and me — were in Athens at the same time. I covered Stafford (the quarterback) for the student paper. I wrote at least one story about Taylor (an all-world volleyball star with a brief basketball career). There’s a nonzero chance Macdonald was watching each and every time I tripped over those stupid $%&@ing stairs to North Campus.

So why should they have all the success? Because they’re more talented? Work harder? Refuse to give up in the face of adversity?

😬 Ugh. No thanks.

At my ripe old age, I’ve gotten used to sports making me feel old (you’d be amazed how many medical marvels in their late 30s prowl our playing fields).

But this past week has my psyche approaching full-on what’re-we-really-doing-here crisis mode.

Luckily I’m taking a few days off soon, and I look forward to kicking back. Maybe opening a book. Maybe just spacing out on the couch while the dulcet tones of the Olympic broadcast wrap me in their warm em —

Oh.

Hello again, Maria.

SHOULD JAMES PEARCE BE DONE?

James Pearce Jr., the Falcons’ pass-rushing phenom, stands accused of the following:

• Chasing his ex-girlfriend, WNBA star Rickea Jackson, around Miami in a Lamborghini SUV.
• Trying to open her car door at a traffic light.
• Ramming her car at least twice as she approached a local police station.
• Ignoring police trying to stop him and driving off, hitting an officer in the knee.
• Crashing, then trying to flee on foot.

Again, these are allegations. His legal team maintains his innocence. Both a criminal case and an NFL investigation will come.

As our friend Michael Cunningham reported earlier this week, Pearce could be looking at a six-game suspension regardless of how the police probe plays out. That’s the minimum if he’s found to have violated the league’s personal conduct policy.

But if the account proves true … is that enough?

Deep down in your hearts of hearts, how would you feel about Pearce continuing to wear a Falcons uniform? “Finally found a pass rush” or not, should the team’s new management send a more hard-line message?

To cut or not to cut?

Let me know where you land.

👀 Later today: Falcons coordinators, including DC Jeff Ulbrich and newcomers Tommy Rees and Craig Aukerman, meet the press in Flowery Branch. Stay tuned for coverage, including in tomorrow’s Dirty Birds Dispatch.

BAD AND BUZZY

Georgia Tech baseball star Drew Burress, looking awesome.

We talk a lot about college football roster-building in the portal-and-pay-me era.

But the conversation (ahem) transfers to other sports, too.

Take baseball.

Future first-round draft pick and prolific chain-wearer Drew Burress has Georgia Tech near the top of the preseason polls and eyeing a trip to Omaha, even before the season kicks off Friday against Bowling Green.

Georgia has similar ambitions, if a tad more tempered.

Their offseason approach couldn’t have been more different.

Per the numbers crunched by our buddy Rahul Deshpande, the Bulldogs brought in 21 transfers. That’s tied for most of any program in the state.

The Jackets?

Five transfers, seven high school recruits — and 24 guys coming back for another go-round.

“I want to go to Omaha,” Burress recently told the AJC’s Sarah Spencer. “I want to lead this team to a national championship. I want to be the best version of Georgia Tech that it’s been in a long time.”

Long way to go yet. But we do know the Jackets are one team that won’t need name tags.

🔗 Bonus linkage: Check out Kennesaw State baseball’s swanky new digs

SO … WHO’S ON THE HAWKS NOW?

I should’ve been more specific.

When I wrote last week that you shouldn’t “expect the Hawks to do much” at the trade deadline, I meant … you know. They weren’t gonna go get Giannis and make a title run or whatever.

But they were plenty active.

Kristaps Porzingis and Luke Kennard, two of the team’s notable offseason additions, are gone. So is fan favorite Vit Krejci.

These guys took their place:

• Jonathan Kuminga: The most interesting acquisition of the bunch, he’s a 23-year-old forward with talent but a past that includes injuries and a rather unpleasant relationship with his former team (interesting new reading from ESPN here). Dealing with a bone-bruised left knee, will be reevaluated next week.
• Buddy Hield: 6-foot-4, 33-year-old journeyman averaging a little under 8 points per game. Played five minutes for Atlanta on Monday.
• Jock Landale: 6-foot-11, Australian, knows Dyson Daniels. Exploded for a 26-point Hawks debut, put up a total of 17 in two games since.
• Gabe Vincent: 6-foot-2, had 2 points, three steals and four rebounds Monday.

“Everything’s future forward,” general manager Onsi Saleh said. “We didn’t want the flexibility that we created at the start of the season to be impacted by the deadline.”

Fair enough. But mark it down as another disappointing season of Hawks basketball.

⭐ Watch Jalen Johnson in the NBA All-Star Game(s) on Sunday. Festivities start at 5 p.m. on NBC.

THE OLYMPICS ARE GETTING WEIRD, MAN

🤨 Unsolicited advice: If you win a medal, don’t use a subsequent press interview to apologize to your ex for cheating. Even if you mean it.

🤨 That “Minions” guy from Spain got to skate to his “Minions” song after all. Didn’t score very well though!

🤨 Apparently medals are falling off their ribbons left and right. And a podium is damaging figure skaters’ blades. Have the Italians ever built anything to last?

🤨 This is video of a Norwegian gentleman running up a mountain, in skis, at a six-minute mile pace. To quote a professional acquaintance: “God loves us all equally. He didn’t make us all equally.”