There has been a big change in your world, many things are now in question, and you are wondering what is to become of your life.
Big changes, even very positive ones, can leave you full of questions and anxious about what’s next. Dealing with change is about the most difficult thing you can do after you’ve become settled in your lifestyle.
If your family is close and your child decides to move out, it will take time to adjust to a different sense of home - even if your first thoughts may be about renting out their room. And if your child decides to get married, then you may find your family expanding in ways that are entirely unexpected, but good.
Some changes are not positive, like the loss of a loved one. That can throw you into a different type of tailspin, but with more emotional pain and stress. This is the time when you need to honor your feelings and talk to those who will be understanding. It’s important to remember that not everyone is going to see and feel things as you do, so you have to be careful about who you choose to talk to.
Wanting to cry at numerous moments throughout the day is normal for someone going through any kind of big change and the stress that goes along with it. Many people hold in their emotional pain all day until they can get home and then cry or mask the pain. I strongly suggest that you let yourself cry, because that’s the best way to get it out. Trying to cover it up or run from it never works.
Everything changes eventually.
Going with the flow is a great idea, if you can, but most people resist the process, especially when the changes they encounter are uncomfortable. A better choice is to do the best you can with what is going on in and around your life.
When life brings a big change, it is wise to engage in meditation or just sit quietly and listen to what your mind is telling you. This way, you can sort through all the feelings and see where you really are. It can be hard to quiet your anxiety and be able to listen, but take your time and don’t give up. I have taught this technique to many people, and it almost always works. Just breathe and feel what’s going on inside you. It is actually a calming experience and will give you more insight into how to deal with what lies ahead.
A big change may be just what you needed, or it may disrupt your life in ways you never could have imagined. Many people have taken negative experiences and turned them around, by taking the time to think about and process what is happening. Just give it a try.
Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., is an award-winning psychotherapist and humanitarian. He is also a columnist, the author of eight books, and a blogger for PsychologyToday.com with nearly 35 million readers. He is available for in-person & video consults worldwide, reach him at Barton@BartonGoldsmith.com
About the Author