A better you starts with how you talk to yourself
Positive self-talk can be a powerful tool for personal growth. It may take the form of affirmations, inner dialogue or prayer. Choose the method that feels most meaningful and works best for you.
Affirmations became popular in the 1980s, helped in part by author and publisher Louise Hay’s book “You Can Heal Your Life.” The short statements reflect how you want to improve yourself. A well-used one is “Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.” Other examples include “I enjoy perfect health” or “I am overcoming my fears.” You can even make up your own.
Repeating these statements many times throughout the day may gradually influence the way you think and feel. Yes, this positive self-talk can make a difference but simply saying your life will get better doesn’t make it happen. Daily affirmations can help shift your mindset and motivate you to take the actions necessary to reach your goals.
Another method of positive self-talk is having an honest conversation with yourself about your behavior. For example, if you’ve been avoiding certain situations as a way to protect yourself, remind yourself that you may no longer need those same defenses. Even when something causes anxiety, remember that you have the strength to face it.
This kind of internal dialogue can make you feel stronger, become more of the person you want to be and build confidence. The more you practice, the more natural it becomes. I’m not suggesting that every thought should be focused on personal growth but rather suggesting you take some time every day to give yourself a good talking to.
Another positive internal dialogue is simply telling yourself that you have been OK before and will be OK again. Often when we get upset, we lose perspective and tend to forget how we have prevailed in the past. If you can recall what you have had to overcome, it will give you the power to believe in yourself again and get over your current hurtle.
Many people turn to prayer to help them overcome difficulties. You don’t have to be religious or attend a place of worship to pray. You can simply talk to the God of your own understanding and receive spiritual support.
Regardless of the approach you choose, make room for positive thoughts each day. You can’t always control what happens around you, but you can influence how you respond. A little encouragement from within can go a long way.
Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., is an award-winning psychotherapist and humanitarian. He is also a columnist, the author of eight books and a blogger for PsychologyToday.com with nearly 35 million readers. He is available for in-person and video consults worldwide; reach him at Barton@BartonGoldsmith.com.