Widow, widower find love again, chance to give back with music
Music gave widow Barb Russell and widower Dave Walter a second chance at love — and for a decade now, they’ve been sharing that gift with people at the end of life.
When the East Cobb County couple walks into a hospice patient’s room, there’s no need for words or recognition. They speak through melody — Walter with his guitar and Russell with her flute.
Soft music drifts into the quiet. Gentle chords. Familiar hymns. Songs that bring back old memories.
“When you see the joy that they have and that they share with others, it’s just palpable,” said Amy Saye, director of volunteers for the Wellstar Health System. “It is just a beautiful thing to watch.”
Russell, 69, and Walter, 75, are currently the only musical duo volunteering across four Wellstar facilities in metro Atlanta, including Wellstar Hospice Care at Kennesaw Mountain.
Their commitment “to give back” has kept them returning week after week since 2015 to the Marietta hospice, the place where each endured the heartbreak of saying goodbye to their spouse. Russell’s husband, Tommy, died there of lung cancer in 2004, and Walter’s wife, Rachael, died of pancreatic cancer in 2009.
Music brought them together
Russell and Walter met in early 2014 through an online dating service and immediately “had a connection with music,” Russell said.
By their fourth or fifth date, they were already making music together at home — just for themselves. Later that year, these committed life partners began playing publicly, mainly at the North Carolina retirement community where Russell’s parents lived.
The audiences “really seemed to like it, and we thought it was kind of fun,” Russell recalled.
By 2015, their confidence had grown — and so had their calling. They began volunteering at the hospice.
“It felt like we needed to be there,” Walter said.
Over the years, the couple have built an expansive repertoire: patriotic tunes, old standards from the ’40s through the ’60s, and songs from nearly every genre. “Amazing Grace” is probably the most requested song, and “Unchained Melody” is another favorite, Walter said.
Sometimes, people are at a loss to come up with a tune, so the two pick one. If the tune strikes a chord with the listener, they’ll play more of the same type of songs, Walter said.
If a patient or family member requests a melody Walter and Russell don’t know, they learn it. And the responses they’ve witnessed have been nothing short of profound.
They vividly remember an elderly veteran whom nurses described as unresponsive. But when the pair began playing “God Bless America,” the man started humming along. A family member, stunned, wept as she watched.
In another moment they said they’ll never forget, a woman told them her father had taken his final breath just as they finished playing “My Heart Will Go On,” the theme from “Titanic.” Her parents had considered it “their song,” she told them through tears.
“Moments like that are what we live for,” Russell said.
The language of the soul
Wellstar’s leadership shares the couple’s belief in music’s transformative power.
“It connects with people on a different level,” said Shannon Morgan, the new executive director of Tranquility. “We all kind of have a soundtrack to our lives. We have music, songs that evoke certain memories and emotions, that take us back to exact places and times.”
Music connects people at the soul, he said. “It’s more the language of the heart than the mind.”
Research backs this up: Multiple studies show that hospice patients can experience reduced pain, anxiety and depression through music, along with improved mood, memory, quality of life and spiritual well-being.
Their talent, their treasure
Russell and Walter each found music early in life.
Russell picked up the oboe and flute in her New York elementary school’s music program. After marrying and having a son, she set the flute aside for many years — returning to it in her 50s.
She didn’t seek comfort through music after her husband died, she said, but she did after her parents died.
“My parents had been so supportive of me when I was a child playing music, and then, later on, when I picked it up again,” Russell said. “They were especially so proud of what Dave and I were doing.”
Walter’s love of music was sealed around age 13 when he received his first electric guitar for Christmas.
Now, with Russell, “It’s fun learning new songs together,” said Walter, who was successfully treated for prostate cancer at Wellstar in 2018.
Russell said she never imagined the simple performances they began at her parents’ retirement community would grow into something so far-reaching.
Today, the pair typically perform three days a week — possibly five days at Christmas. And they have no plans to stop playing anytime soon, Russell said.
To Saye, their devotion is unmistakable.
“They are so talented, and they are willing to share that,” she said. “The time they give is a testament to who they are as people.”
WHERE THEY PERFORM
Here’s where you might see Barb Russell and Dave Walter performing:
- Wellstar Hospice Care at Kennesaw Mountain
- East Cobb Health Park
- Kennestone Cancer Center
- Wellstar Atherton Place, an assisted living and memory care center
