It seems like summer has barely gotten started, and suddenly the kids are back in school, and it’s time to winterize the house for the coming season.
As I look around the community, I see lots going on, and I ask myself, “Have I taken advantage of even 10% of what’s going on around me?”
We need to get up and out and see what’s going on in the world. But how can I do that when there’s also so much to do around the house? I want to hang out with my friends, and I also want to get stuff done.
To solve this dilemma, I’ve invited over a couple of buddies. They’ll help me with the house remodel, and afterward, we’ll go for a boat ride and maybe watch a game. Well, that takes care of today, but how does one create a life where you feel fulfilled and know that the next day will be the same? Answer: You don’t, and you can’t.
You just have to take it one day at a time.
It’s an adage but one that makes sense. You can plan your days as much as you like, and things will get in the way. Unfortunately, most of us get stopped too easily by outside distractions and inner conflicts. But we can’t let this stop us.
Make peace with your day, and be gentle with yourself. If you can’t get what you want to get done today, there’s always tomorrow. If your loved ones aren’t available to help, call a friend — and if you can’t find anyone, change projects. Sometimes you may find that doing what you can, when you can, is easier than trying to plan ahead and is more fulfilling than doing nothing. That is part of living in the moment.
Finding fulfillment is really the treasure map we should all be following, and what we want can be so different. Wouldn’t it be great if when we got together with someone, we could place our maps side by side and compare our goals, paths, and how we are planning on getting there? This would answer a lot of those questions that we never get around to asking when we start dating someone.
For this moment in time, it might be valuable for you to create a map of your own, just to get more clarity on where you want to be in a few years. Yes, things will change, but having a direction — even with multiple detours — is much better than just going where the wind takes you.
Your path can keep you focused and give you direction when you need it most. Even if you never look at the map afterward, having a plan gives you some extra strength to help you make it through this crazy world.
Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., is an award-winning psychotherapist and humanitarian. He is also a columnist, the author of eight books, and a blogger for PsychologyToday.com with nearly 35 million readers. He is available for in-person & video consults worldwide, reach him at Barton@BartonGoldsmith.com
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