Opinion: Why do we name our cars?

We own many inanimate objects, like televisions, refrigerators, furniture and lawn equipment, yet we don’t routinely give them names or form bonds. For some reason, the car is different.

For those of us who check the “yes” box in Bosch’s survey, the car is almost like a family pet. We love it for different reasons, but by naming it, we forge a special bond between human and machine that defies logic but brings pleasure to our brain’s emotional center.

The car as a savior

Sometimes, life feels like everyone and everything are against you. You can’t rely on your family or friends; your job is terrible, you hate where you live and life is misery. Through it all, your car is the companion that almost never lets you down. So, you give it a name. In the dead of winter, it starts every time. When funds are low, you find spare change in the center console. Need a place to escape your roommate’s incessant snoring? Your car has a cozy reclining front seat.

Credit: Special

Credit: Special

I heard one story of a woman who was in a terrible accident, and her car saved her life. The insurance company wanted to total it, but she argued to save it, after which she named the car “Angel.” Others pass along stories of assigning names like “Balto,” “Rudolph,” “Moose” and “Musher” to their faithful Toyota trucks and Subaru SUVs that regularly get them through the worst winters. Maybe the car is just part of a bigger life story, getting the name “Doc” after it served as a makeshift midwife when your firstborn decided not to wait until you reached the hospital.

The car as an old friend

Some people name cars for beloved characters from their favorite childhood books, TV shows, or movies. A favorite of Volkswagen Beetle owners is “Herbie,” while young Camaro drivers like “Bumble Bee.” One YouTuber named his Honda Element “Watson” (think Sherlock Holmes), while others driving Firebirds went for “Kitt” (“Knight Rider”) or “Jim” (“The Rockford Files”). My husband named his Daihatsu Rocky “Little Foot” after the wide and wobbly baby dinosaur from the movie “The Land Before Time.”

Those with particularly menacing cars opted for names like “Christine,” “Beth” (“Yellowstone”) and “Darth” (“Star Wars”). Now and again, a car’s distinguishing characteristic conjures a name, like a friend’s new Outback, which he named “Trooper” because the front end looks like a Star Wars Stormtrooper. One BMW driver who was unhappy with the bold grille of his new i4 EV named it “Beaver,” while a Suzuki Samurai owner named his unstable little SUV “Tip.”

Sometimes, the car’s color helps decide its name, such as “Betty White,” “Ron Burgundy,” “Al Green” or “Jack Black.”

The car as an extension of the self

Some people wear their rides the way others wear designer shoes or a $4,000 suit. Their vehicle amplifies how they want people to see them. In this group, I came across pickup truck drivers who gave their rigs names like “Thor,” “Grunt,” “Mad Max,” “Xena,” “Mater” and “Beast.”

Those who drive aspirational cars gravitate toward successful names like “Wolf,” “Buffet” and “Roller,” while those with a more carefree outlook on life pick more humorous names such as “Motor Theresa,” “Love Bug” and “Mike Civic” (a nod to Archie Bunker’s hippy son-in-law — Boomers get it).

Just for the fun of it

Maybe we just like being silly, and the names we pick for our cars show off our cleverness and sense of humor. Some of my favorites found while researching this article are “Cruella De Ville,” “Carmen Electra,” “Tom PT Cruiser,” “Forester Gump,” “Jetta Knight,” “Sienna Gomez,” “Ford ConFusion” and, from a sticker on the back of an Airstream, “Trailer Swift.” Olympic weightlifter Cheryl Haworth has a gold Lincoln Mark V she named “Mary Todd,” and the band Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit named their ride “Jean Claude Damn Van.”

Joe Tralongo is an automotive writer for Kelley Blue Book and Autotrader, based in Missoula, Montana. He has been covering the automotive industry since 2000.

The Steering Column is a weekly consumer auto column from Cox Automotive. Cox Automotive and The Atlanta Journal-Constitution are owned by parent company, Atlanta-based Cox Enterprises.