Over the decades in Hollywood, there have been no shortage of stories of actors feeling pressured to strip naked or perform simulated sex acts to keep their jobs in a very competitive field.
But after the dawn of the Me Too movement in 2017, producers began hiring for the newly created role of intimacy coordinators.
A coordinator’s primary mission is to work with directors and producers to ensure actors feel more comfortable with any scene involving kissing, nudity or simulated sex. They will suggest closing sets to limit the number of crew during a sex scene. They choreograph movements in bed. They will sometimes play therapist with actors placed in sensitive situations.
Credit: abbey.cutrer@ajc.com
Credit: abbey.cutrer@ajc.com
But misconceptions still abound over what they do.
“People, especially men, crack jokes about it,” said Kristina Arjona, one of the first intimacy coordinators in Atlanta, who has worked on several Atlanta-based series like the Paramount+ drama “Tulsa King,” ABC police procedural “Will Trent” and the Jenny Ortega film “Miller’s Girl.”
“We are not the sex police,” she said. “Once I do my job, they usually say, “I get it. This was helpful.’”
Back in 2015, Arjona was an actor on the set of a movie in which she thought a scene featuring sexual violence was not handled well. The producers didn’t check in with the actors or properly rehearse the scene. The set wasn’t closed. How much clothing would be removed was decided on the fly.
“If you’re crying between takes, are you in character or is this a mental health concern?” she recalled thinking at the time.
So, Arjona began formulating how she could design a job to address these issues. but her idea didn’t gain traction until after the Me Too movement.
To her, intimacy coordination is comparable to stunt coordination, and many intimacy coordinators come from the stunt world.
“Even if you know how to throw a punch in real life, the mechanics of a fake punch on camera is a different skill set,” said Arjona, who is also a producer and director. “It’s the same with simulated sex — plus additional potential awkwardness. My goal is to make an intimacy scene less awkward, not more awkward.”
Credit: Credit...Paul Schiraldi/HBO
Credit: Credit...Paul Schiraldi/HBO
Defining a new role on set
In 2018, HBO became the first network to hire coordinators with the second season of “The Deuce,” which focused on sex workers in the 1970s. Netflix, Hulu, Starz and Amazon followed suit. Arjona estimates that there are at least 100 self-identified intimacy coordinators in the business.
Last November, intimacy coordinators became eligible to join the actors union SAG-AFTRA. Coordinators need to receive approved training on topics like consent, sexual harassment and sexual orientation. Organizations like Intimacy Directors & Coordinators and Intimacy Professionals Association formed to fill this need.
The union also recently passed a set of requirements for TV productions to use intimacy coordinators for scenes involving nudity or simulated sex and advance notification.
“Directors and producers are now used to having us on set,” said New York-based intimacy coordinator Brooke Haney, who has written two books on the subject. “More folks are looking at it as an art form, not just as a safety position. While the foundation is boundaries and consent for actors, it’s also about authenticity and telling the best story.”
While a director has to focus on all aspects of a scene, Haney can hone in on specific details. “I can look at how a finger scratches across a person’s body,” she said. “Does it tell the story they want? That’s a thing I can see artistically. I want to bring value.”
Better yet, she added, “actors can be more brave, more risky when they know there’s someone who has their back.”
Credit: STARZ SCREENSHOT
Credit: STARZ SCREENSHOT
Atkins Estimond, an Atlanta-based actor who shot a post-coitus scene as a regular on the Starz drama “Hightown,” said he was glad to consult with an intimacy coordinator. “It’s not always comfortable to say you’re uncomfortable,” Estimond said. “Advocating for yourself in these situations can be difficult.”
He said the coordinator was not only helpful as a liaison between him and his female scene partner but also the director. “It takes a lot of pressure off of you,” he said, “and makes sure you feel good about what’s happening. And with that scene, I did feel good once I watched it.”
The coordinator also helped with small things like ensuring his modesty garment (clothing that hides the private parts but isn’t visible to the viewer) matched his skin tone.
Not everyone is onboard
But not every actor has embraced the presence of intimacy coordinators.
Oscar-winning actor Toni Collette told the London Times in 2023 that coordinators make her “more anxious” during love scenes. Gwyneth Paltrow said to Vanity Fair earlier this year that she felt “stifled” by the presence of the coordinator while filming “Marty Supreme” with Timothée Chalamet.
Credit: Richard Foreman/CBS
Credit: Richard Foreman/CBS
Cote de Pablo recently told TV Insider she rejected an intimacy coordinator for her upcoming series “NCIS: Tony & Ziva” in which she and her co-star Michael Weatherly share plenty of intimate moments.
“They asked me first, I think because I’m a female and blah, blah, blah, and I said, ‘I don’t need one. Thank you for offering,’” de Pablo said. “Michael and I have a lot of trust with each other and are great friends. So, when it comes to shooting these things, we don’t want to be micromanaged. We like to explore it, and we trust each other enough that we allow that to happen.”
Credit: Photo by MichelleRoseCreative.com
Credit: Photo by MichelleRoseCreative.com
Samantha J. McDonald, an Atlanta-based stunt coordinator who also has done intimacy coordination on shows like “The Righteous Gemstones” and “P-Valley,” said even if an actor declines her direct help during a scene, she will have done a lot of work before hand.
“They may not understand the scope of what our job entails,” she said. “We often do a lot of prep work to nail down the scene. We know closed set protocols. We have all the special wardrobe items in place if you need them. We take a lot of work off the director’s back.”
Atlanta actor Ashley Dougherty has done sexual scenes with and without intimacy coordinators, with mixed results.
Working with Brendan Fraser on DC’s “Doom Patrol” in Atlanta in 2018 without an intimacy coordinator, she said, went well because Fraser ensured there were clear communication about what was going to happen.
“He was amazing,” she said. “He spoke up for us.”
Her first experience with an intimacy coordinator during the early days of the job’s formation didn’t go as smoothly. On Starz’ “P-Valley” in 2019, she performed nude in a brief scene counting money for a drug runner.
She had a rehearsal day in which she was given guidance on how it would be shot. “They showed more than I had agreed to,” she said. “I spoke to the intimacy coordinator. It seemed everything was fine. But on the day of the shoot, it didn’t feel fine.”
Dougherty said she sensed the director was upset she wouldn’t show more of her body in the scene. “I feel like it affected my performance,” she said. “The intimacy coordinator didn’t step in on my behalf to check in and ask, “Are you OK?’”
McDonald, the intimacy coordinator that day, recalled that shoot and said there were a lot of problems that day unrelated to the nudity. At the same time, “I don’t want to diminish the way she felt about it,” she said.
Credit: BET SCREENSHOT
Credit: BET SCREENSHOT
A year later, in a season 3 episode of BET’s “Sistas,” Dougherty said she was nude on set, but since this was a basic cable show, her privates were hidden strategically first by a fridge door, then by the angle of the camera.
In that case, she recalled having great conversations with the intimacy coordinator and the experience went smoothly. “She made me feel more empowered,” Dougherty said.
Advocating for actors
When local actor Sarah Kopkin was working on a project earlier this year that involved a sex scene, she requested an intimacy coordinator be hired. The producers for the movie, the title of which has not been officially announced, went along with her recommendation to hire Gillian Greenbaum, with whom Kopkin had previously worked.
Greenbaum talked one on one with Kopkin, then her scene partner, then the director.
“She made sure no boundaries were crossed,” said Kopkin, who doesn’t like showing a lot of skin. “I think it’s important to take care of your mental health. People need to prioritize health, mind and body.”
Greenbaum has worked mostly on local independent films and vertical shorts, episodic soaps geared to smartphones but not covered by SAG-AFTRA.
While most directors welcome her presence and work with her willingly, she recalled one inexperienced director who kept making derogatory comments about the female actores and trying to convince them to wear less clothing. She ultimately had to run interference between the director and the actresses for the rest of the shoot.
On another production, an actress told her that her scene partner had asked if they could rehearse a kiss away from the crew in a private location. Greenbaum instead walked them through the scene and convinced the male actor there was no need to “practice” before the actual kiss. “He didn’t object,” she said.
Sometimes one actor doesn’t want to tell the other actor straight out that a particular move made them feel uncomfortable. So Greenbaum will suggest another way they could touch each other, telling them it will make the scene look sexier.
“Nine times out of 10, if you sell it like that, it works,” Greenbaum said. “At the end of the day, actors just want to feel good and look good.”
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